“Gennardy Tranctorblade, Julioust Dunyarctle, Crandulon Unctiferal, Yip Yip Doodle Tok, Fkaisl Ipsidav, Hourly Ablutions, Wreltstle Jujjax, and Michael.

“You have all been found guilty of Second-Degree Hookie (The Playing Thereof), and will be sentenced to mandatory summer school.

“Except Crandulon Unctiferal. He, like all repeat offenders, gets the firing squad.”