“Grumble mumble.”
“Pardon me?” said Ms. Jane.
“Mumble grumble.”
“Do speak up, dear,” said Ms. Jane.
“Grr rumble mumbly.”
“Really, it’s very rude to mumble like that,” said Ms. Jane. “You’ve been raised to know better!”
But Ms. Jane’s stomach, it turned out, was a very poor student of etiquette.
She had a burning but unrequited love. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so she transformed herself into a microorganism and crawled up his intestines.
She discovered some deep fried fig newtons in there, which intensified her affections.
She lived in his heart until he died.
Based on a title suggested by Dan Hingston via Facebook.