The saucers appeared at 12:15 pm on Feast Day, when we celebrate victory over body shaming and our collective morbid obesity.

The saucers searched for intelligent life, abundant natural resources or a population able to power their work force back home.

The saucers left at 12:16 pm on Feast Day.

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Chelsea Roberts on most days can be found writing essays and short stories at pastpaperanswers.com.