Tag Archives: Earth

Sparkle Guaranteed

“Granny, can I borrow your–”

“Hush, child,” said Granny Gramgrams. “West Fallingdown is on!”

Sonny was forced to construct his denture polisher without reference to actual dentures.

Later tests were… “unsuccessful.” But the polisher’s severe over-spinning counteracted the earth’s ever-worsening irregular orbit, so on the whole, it turned out ok.

Sunshine Guaranteed

“Oh no!” cried Granny Gramgrams as she watched the weather channel. “If it rains on Saturday, it’ll completely spoil the holiday picnic!”

“Don’t worry,” Sonny confidently assured her. “With my gigantic turbo fan, I can blow all the clouds away.”

That weekend, Sonny’s fan pushed Earth into an irregular orbit.

This story was based on a title suggested by Larissa Thiessen.

Priorities in a Time of Global Crisis

Kim groaned and awoke.

It was early morning, but unusually bright and hot.

Kim slipped into her bathrobe, flung open the blinds, and screamed.

A dying red sun filled the sky. Earth’s orbit was rapidly, dangerously contracting.

Kim shrieked and hammered on her speed-dial. “Tan-Hut!? I need a pre-tan NOW!”