The philosopher awoke with a start, lifting his head from the coffee table. He had been dreaming that he was an open-faced peanut butter sandwich with an exhausted drug addict passed out on him.

He peeled the peanut-buttered bread from his cheek.

Who’s to say which reality was a dream?

Adri Persad is from West Virginia, and pursues interests in writing, engineering, fitness, and general grousing. You can follow him on Twitter @36_chambuhz.