I’m alone in a parked car when a huge serpent with a cobra-like head hovers above my open side window. Staring at its green, vacant, and unblinking eyes, I wonder whether I should just hold very still or fish around for the keys to start the car. Help me, Honda.

Karen Beatty is 77 years old. She prefers surfboards to cars. This cringe-worthy 50-word story tells about the bad things that happen when you leave New York City.