Poor taste? Actually, the flavor of our billionaire sirloin is quite rich. Served with too much butter and a greedy pinch of salt.

Inhumane? All our billionaires are free-range, able to travel where they please in private jets. None of them pay taxes, lest the meat turn gamey.

Bon appetit.

Parker Davis is a non-billionaire and a proponent for ethical agriculture. He feels particularly vicious when hungry.