Category Archives: Amusing

BOB THURBER: The Cat Lady

Amusing, Submissions, Touching, ,

Mom locked grandma up after the landlord found stacks of newspapers, books and miscellaneous junk, floor to ceiling in every room. Diagnosis: Hoarder disorder.

But in truth, she was a Cat Herder, a proud breeder of kittens, and those walls were the pens, corrals and stalls of Grandma’s Kitten Ranch.

Over the years Bob Thurber’s work has received a long list of awards and prizes. His most recent book is a collection of brief stories titled “Nothing But Trouble.” His first novel, “Paperboy: A Dysfunctional Novel,” was recently rereleased. Visit BobThurber.net.

GORDON LYSEN: The Games We Play

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“It’s time to go,” she said.

“In a sec,” I called back.

“No! Right now!” she said, even louder, with more than a hint of annoyance.

“Okay, okay!” I screamed back.

The door slammed and I knew it was too late.

I turned back to level two of Panda Pops.

Gordon Lysen is enjoying his retirement, filling his days with painting, carving, writing, and the occasional game of Panda Pop.

DENNY E MARSHALL: Try Again, Lieutenant

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“Thought we destroyed them years ago and they were all dead,” said Caption Savoy.

“It killed the dinosaurs but not all life forms, sir,” replied Lt. Flit Duson.

“No big deal, Flit. Send another meteorite, a larger one this time. That should take care of it,” said Captain Savoy.

Denny E. Marshall has had art, poetry, and fiction published, including fiction at The Stray Branch Spring 2017. See more at dennymarshall.com.

LINDA POINDEXTER: Aaaaaaah!

Adventure, Amusing, Poetry, Submissions, , , , , ,

The stage was set against a spectacular backdrop. The supporting character, a slick, mossy, camouflaged rock, stood ready.

I played the lead perfectly, delivering my agonized one-word line with no hesitation. It was over quickly.

Alas: sweet death and the mountain had made me the star of my own tragedy.

Linda writes quotes, songs, poetry and short stories and is enjoying the challenge of writing 50 word stories. Among her wishes is to never star in her own tragedy.

KURT BREEDE: Morning Coffee

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

Warren staggered out onto the porch, coffee in hand. As he lifted the mug to his lips, their eyes locked together. She examined him stoically from across the street.

Then, like a yogic guru, she lifted her leg—and licked her butt. Hot coffee spewed from his nostrils.

Stupid cats.

Kurt is a screenwriter based in Toronto, Canada.

PERRY McDAID: Guise of Providence

Amusing, Submissions, ,

It was peaceful in the near-empty compartment of the 22:30 to Belfast. Carrie felt so secure, with the guard’s regular walk-bys, that she could have stolen an hour’s sleep.

Yet she was fixated on the man with his finger up his nose.

That saved her life when the train derailed.

Irish writer Perry McDaid lives in Derry under the brooding brows of Donegal hills which he occasionally hikes in search of druidic inspiration.

ANNA ASCOTT: Cooking for Beginners

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

The woman who taught the prison’s Tuesday cooking class was a caricature named Milly. She spoke in exclamation marks and block letters.

“HI!” she said, the first day, into the overweight silence. “I’m MILLY! Welcome to COOKING for BEGINNERS!”

Fiona looked down at the knife in her hand, and wondered.

Anna Ascott is an Australian expat living in rural Germany in a village where the cows outnumber the people. When she isn’t organising her colleagues’ office supplies, she writes creative non-fiction, short stories, and flash fiction.

DEBORAH GARWOOD: Tidy House

Adventure, Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

The first thing we did was hide the body, which was not a small thing.
Then we came home, tidied up, and made dinner as though nothing had happened.

If she came home and found the house a mess—even if she couldn’t find our brother—we’d be dead, too.

Deborah Garwood ​is a writer from Missouri. Well, not really from Missouri, like, she now lives elsewhere. She still lives there. Forever and always. Probably.

CONNELL WAYNE REGNER: The Mensa Application

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

After applying for many years he made it into Mensa. Finally, he was among the most intelligent people of his time. Cerebrally unmatched yet socially awkward, he wondered what he’d be doing there until he was told to put on some overalls, get a bucket, and mop out the toilets.

Connell?????

HARRY DEMAREST: Three Wishes

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

Aladdin rubbed the lamp and a Genie popped out.

“I want wealth, women, and immortality,” said Aladdin.

A caravan appeared, with camels laden with gold and silver, and thirty beautiful women.

The Genie smiled. “Now for the immortality.” He stuffed Aladdin into the lamp and rode off with the caravan.

Harry Demarest likes to write 50-word stories while he procrastinates finishing his novel.