Not a jealous bone in his body—robots are made of metal after all—Rob should have been the perfect bodyguard, an unlikely rival for the affections of Jim’s girlfriend.
Programmed to be charming, entertaining, and attentive, Rob stole both her heart and the tickets for Jim’s planned honeymoon cruise.
John H. Dromey has had short fiction, humor, and poetry published in many different venues.
“Wellness check,” the policeman said. “Are you okay, ma’am?
“A cut from a tin can lid,” the woman said, holding up a bandaged finger. “Otherwise, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“You replied to your fiancé’s recent romantic emails with wildly enigmatic emojis. Maybe you should give him a call.”
John H. Dromey has had short fiction, humor, and poetry published in hundreds of venues.
“Marjorie’s privileged upbringing—accustomed to being waited on hand and foot—makes it difficult for her to adjust to working in this antiquated office building.”
“In what way?”
“Well, just this morning, she was stuck in an elevator for twenty minutes waiting for somebody to open the door for her.”
John H. Dromey has had short fiction, humor, and poetry published in hundreds of venues.
“A little birdie told me you had a bit too much to drink at last night’s party. According to her, you were so tipsy—maybe even drunk—you asked the cat to sing karaoke with you.”
“I must have been drunk. If I’d been sober, I’d have asked the dog.”
John H. Dromey, by his count, previously had 88 stories published online in 50-Word Stories. He thanks John G. for providing him with the premise for this one.
“The new custodian you hired is computer illiterate.”
“That shouldn’t matter. Our mops and brooms are low-tech.”
“Maybe so, but when he heard about a mouse in one of the outer offices, he decided to take drastic action.”
“What happened?”
“The trap he set broke one of the receptionist’s fingernails.”
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
Editor: Perhaps this is a companion story to The Mouse?
A mother had a jocular way of suggesting her offspring get some fresh air and exercise. She’d tell them, “Go outside and let the wind blow the stink off ya.”
That stratagem seemed to work quite well. Then, one afternoon, there was an unwelcome visitor to the neighborhood: a skunk.
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
If you’re ever in Judge S’s courtroom, remain alert. Literal-minded, he once threw the book—Exhibit A in a plagiarism case—at a sleepy defendant. During criminal trials, an overhead projector displays pertinent statutes on the ceiling: a graphic reminder from His Honor that no one is above the law.
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
“I’m practically freezing. Why do they crank the air-conditioner up so high at these events for seniors?”
“I don’t know. My best guess is the organizers suspect some of us attendees have gone past our freshness date. They keep the place as cold as a refrigerator so we won’t spoil.”
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
“I hear the company you work for is run on clichés.”
“Yes, like clockwork.”
“Can you give me an example?”
“Well, when the head honcho quit, he left big shoes to fill.”
“So?”
“Members of the Board of Directors are looking for a replacement. They’ve scheduled an interview with Sasquatch.”
John H. Dromey hopes he’s not a walking, talking cliché. To avoid giving that impression, he spends a lot of time sitting down.
Editor: Speaking personally, the slight delay in me “getting it” increased the groan size. Your mileage may vary.
Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. Misremembered incidents from way back when, some of which—through frequent retellings—have been hyperbolically embellished beyond all reliable recognition for anyone who wasn’t actually there at the time. Entertainment value? Priceless.
These days, smart-alecky fact-checkers with smart phones spoil all the fun.
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in over 220 venues.