GAVIN McQUE: The Strange Condition Known as Death

Amusing, Odd, Submissions, , , , ,

Death is an unsettling experience. The sudden weight-loss, poor circulation and depression has been known to drive many victims of death into suicidal states and impractical levels of homesickness.

Experts on the often fatal condition recommend emergency surgical obliteration of the brain as the most effective and efficient known cure.

Since his last submissions, Gavin has been writing for his local University and upholding a (mostly) weekly blog of his writings. He is quietly contented with life.

Impressed?

Amusing, , ,

“When I was much younger, I could bench press a fat man!”

“Oooh!” said my granddaughter, eyes twinkling.

“Yep, your grandpa’s pretty strong! And even though I’m getting older, I bet I could still do it, if you gave me a chance.”

My granddaughter said, “I can do push-ups, too!”

This story was based on the prompt “much younger” at TypeTrigger.

The Olympian

Amusing, ,

He had the eyebrows of a Greek god.

He kept them in a vacuum-sealed glass display case, mounted onto a simple plaster bust, and reluctantly loaned them to museums for a few months every year.

Few people noticed that these months always coincided with The Olympian’s annual vacation from superheroism.

This story was based on the prompt “the eyebrows” at TypeTrigger.

The Inauspicious Tale of Adolphus Finnegan

Artistic, Touching, , , ,

Mister Adolphus Finnegan was a pleasant chap, if a little seclusive. His daily forest-path meanderings were routed so as to minimize chance meetings with other meanderers. He called these his “refreshing ambulations”, and continued them well into his elderhood.

He lived a long, well-refreshed, pleasant, but secluded kind of life.

This story was based on a title provided by @Keab42.

Death Falls in Love…Literally

Touching, , , , , ,

The ghostly spectre silhouetted against the dark window sighed, the symptom of Death’s long-suffering passion.

Inside, cold breaths rattled through the lungs of Enid Westerhapf, 112 years old and at long last preparing to die.

Having awaited her for so long, Death finally welcomed her to stand by his side.

This story was based on a title provided by Master Gunner.

PAT ST. PIERRE: She Needed the Money

Artistic, Submissions,

Tim and Kate had an unemotional relationship. They both used each other for convenience.

One day during an encounter when Tim was taking advantage of Kate his heart failed. She felt no emotion. In his wallet she found $3,000.00.

She kept it but gave the church a donation on Sunday.

Pat St. Pierre has been writing poetry, fiction, and nonfiction since her college days. She tries to capture small vignettes of life and turn them into poems. Her 2nd published chapbook “Theater of Life” by Finishing Line Press contains such poems. Her fiction has been published in many places: Dew on the Kudzu, Fiction 365, Daily Love, Joyful, A Long Story Short, etc. She also has a love of photography and can be seen carrying her camera wherever she goes. She takes photos and then tries write her titles which also describe “snapshots” of everyday occurrences. Some of her photos can be viewed at: Ken*Again, Ramshackle Review, Pond Ripples, The Shine, The Camel Saloon, A Days Encounter, etc. She considers herself a literary “jack of all trades” and thoroughly enjoys what she does. Her blog is www.pstpierre.wordpress.com

So You Gave Birth to a Dinosaur

Amusing, Odd, , , ,

“So you say you gave birth to a… dinosaur.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“And that’s him, there? He looks quite normal to me.”

“He’s a dinosaur, really!”

“Well, if he is a dinosaur, when I place my finger in his mouth he should—HE BIT MY HAND OFF!!”

“I told you so.”

This was story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.

How Do I Look?

Amusing,

“You look terrific,” she told him. “Fantastic, even.”

“You know,” he said, “I *feel* fantastic. Maybe even marvelous!”

“Whoa, hold on. I don’t know about marvelous… Fantastic is one thing. Marvelous is something else entirely.”

“Oh.” He shuffled his feet awkwardly. “Well how about… wonderful?”

“Sure, I’ll give you wonderful.”

This story was based on the prompt “fantastic” at TypeTrigger.

Clarence’s Clarinet

Amusing, , , ,

Clarence played his brand new clarinet very loud: Phweeee!!

It made his little sister angry, so he played it even louder: PHWEEEEEE!!!

In a puff of orange smoke, a genie appeared. It said, “I’ll grant you two wishes.”

Clarence wished for an even louder clarinet, and a pair of earplugs.

The Adventure of a Lifetime

Amusing, , ,

Rancid breath washed over him, spilling out from behind a mouthful of long, sharp, yellow teeth.

How had he ended up here, with his head halfway down a lion’s throat? “Exciting Opportunity,” they’d called it. “The Adventure of a Lifetime.”

He sighed wretchedly and gathered a long string of floss.

This story was based on the prompt “yellow teeth” at TypeTrigger.