Tag Archives: assault

Sign Here to Keep Your Children Safe

She knocked on the door, then nocked an arrow.

“Greetings, homeowner,” she said. “Would you like to sign our anti-longbow petition?”

“Uh, sure,” said the citizen. He signed. Then she shot him in the leg.

“Thanks,” she said. “Register your assault charge with the police to help advance our cause!”

Hi, Jack!

“Why do they even have planes that drop salt on the runways?”

“Here in Malaska the airports are unattended. The runways get frozen up and there’s no one to de-ice them, so the planes do it themselves before they land.”

“And we’re hijacking one…”

“Yes. We’re assaulting a salting airplane.”