Tag Archives: David Dezell Turner

DAVID DEZELL TURNER: The Darkest Timeline

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

Everyone in the TimeGuild warned me about “the darkest timeline.” I assumed they were joking, since the scans showed a timeline without disease, famine, or war. I had to go.

Upon arrival, I spied a newspaper headline: “Princess Bride Reboot Coming 2027.”

I jumped home, horrified. The TimeGuild was right.

David Dezell Turner is an aerospace PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder. When he isn’t giving directions to real spaceships, he’s writing about fictional ones. Check out more of his work at daviddezellturner.com.

DAVID DEZELL TURNER: Nature Documentary

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

Parker stepped off the ladder and onto the Martian surface. “Houston,” she began, “we—”

“Finally, after millennia of struggling,” a voice interrupted, “the humans leave their backwater planet and stand triumphantly on another. Aaaaand cut.”

Parker turned to see a creature slithering away onto his saucer, film crew in tow.

David Dezell Turner is an astrodynamics PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder. When he isn’t giving directions to real spaceships, he’s writing about fictional ones. Check out more of his work at daviddezellturner.com.

DAVID DEZELL TURNER: Re: Enforcer Academy Application

Amusing, Submissions, Top Stories, ,

From: Dean Plasmafist
To: Hindsight Girl

We regret to inform you that you were not selected for Enforcer Academy. Your ability to make people reconsider decisions, while amusing, is too mundane a superpower for our prestigious training program.

On second thought, perhaps we were too hasty. Welcome to the Academy!

David Dezell Turner is an astrodynamics PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder. When he isn’t giving directions to real spaceships, he’s writing about fictional ones. Check out more of his work at daviddezellturner.com.

DAVID DEZELL TURNER: Cephalopods Give the Best Hugs

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

There were those strange ripples again. Steve poked his head above water to investigate.

Tiny creatures in a tiny wooden vessel greeted him with shouts of “KRAKEN!” (Their word for hello, Steve surmised.) He returned their hospitality by giving the vessel a hug.

Whoops, thought Steve. Hope they can swim.

David Dezell Turner is an astrodynamics PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder. When he isn’t giving directions to real spaceships, he’s probably writing about fictional ones. Check out more of his work at daviddezellturner.com/

DAVID DEZELL TURNER: Lessons in Chihuahua History

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“You’re so ornery, Zara,” said Emily, adjusting the chihuahua’s translator.

“It’s in my blood,” Zara retorted.

“Your ancestors were little brats, too?”

“Brats? They ruled the Ice Age! Battled saber-toothed cats! Hunted for—”

“Their own food?”

Zara sheepishly eyed the treat jar. “Some traditions are best left in the past.”

David Dezell Turner is an astrodynamics PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder. When he isn’t giving directions to real spaceships, he’s writing about fictional ones. Check out more of his work at daviddezellturner.com.

DAVID DEZELL TURNER: Time, Warped

Submissions, Touching, , , ,

I buried myself in my Flash comic, pretending to be unaffected by Grandpa’s inability to remember me.

Pointing to the cover, Dad whispered, “Remember when your hero got trapped in the Speed Force, and he started experiencing time out of order?”

I nodded.

“My hero’s going through the same thing.”

David Dezell Turner is an astrodynamics PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder. When he isn’t giving directions to real spaceships, he’s writing about fictional ones. Check out more of his work at daviddezellturner.com.