Tag Archives: gorilla

Gunther and Alyssa

“I missed the train again,” whined Alyssa over the phone to Gunther, her unsympathetic pet gorilla.

Gunther said, “Suck it up, princess,” but it was in sign language, so Alyssa didn’t see.

“Thanks for listening, hun,” said Alyssa. “See you tonight!”

As usual, Gunther spent the day plotting his escape.

The Woman Who Cried Ape

“Harold, there’s a gorilla in the walk-in closet!”

“I find that highly unlikely!” said Harold.

“It’s a silverback! It’s grabbing my hair!”

“Don’t tell fibs!” said Harold.

“Ow, my arm! It’s hitting me!”

“Oh wait,” said Harold. He grabbed a dart gun. “Sorry, I was reading the insurance policy wrong.”