Tag Archives: office supplies

The Letter Opener: Part 1-4

“Excuse me, sir.”

Herbert stopped. “Yes?”

“You forgot to take the complimentary safety manual for your new steel letter opener!”

“Don’t need it,” grumbled Herbert.

“The statistics beg to differ!” countered the cashier.

“Statistics?”

“Nearly twenty-five percent of letter opener injuries are fatal.”

Herbert rolled his eyes. “I’ll be careful.”

The Letter Opener: Part 1-3

Herbert Cralston thought queues at office-supply stores were an insufferable, stress-fueled convening of frantic, Blackberry-wielding, over-caffeinated Deputy Thises and Assistant Thats with crooked ties and runs in their pantyhose, frequently all seeking to purchase the same object.

It made Herbert feel stabby; he bought a letter opener made of steel.