She asked me to catch her a squirrel. It was a crazy idea, but I got her a squirrel.

Now she loves me. She even kissed my cheek. I know it sounds insane, but maybe she’ll even marry me now.

She’s happy; I’m happy.

Wait, is that squirrel’s mouth foaming?

John Mark Goforth lives in rural Pennsylvania, where he spends his time writing and being enamored with the blonde girl at school. One of these things is bad for his mental health, but he is not sure which one.