Overweight girls don’t have many dates
My mother told me when I was 15
You might never get married
The diet doctor prescribed appetite-controlling pills
When I was still so hungry
Mother said, “Eat some lettuce”
I knew lettuce wouldn’t fill the emptiness in my stomach,
or in my heart.
Miriam Stein is a social worker, writer, and the author of Make Your Voice Matter With Lawmakers: No Experience Necessary. See more at makeyourvoicematter.com.
Husband arrives home having forgotten a significant anniversary.
Wife greets him, expecting dinner, flowers, cards, anything.
Husband apologizes, profusely. Wife demands recompense: “Something in the driveway tomorrow that goes zero to 215 fast.”
Next morning she discovers a small flat package. Imagine her surprise at a new set of bathroom scales!
Don Crawford was told this story by a Wendy’s employee and decided to convert it to 50 words and relay it to all of you!
A.L.Y.S. the android had run out of heavy things to lift in the laboratory.
“Why must you do this?” asked Dr. Snyder, her creator.
A.L.Y.S shrugged. “I now know how much everything weighs, except for one thing.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
A.L.Y.S grabbed him and hoisted him one-handed. “Seventy kilograms.”
This is the third in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.