LARRY DARNELL: My Retirement

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, Submissions, ,

When asked if I am retired I respond:

“Although I draw Social Security, I get up rested in the morning, I enjoy my work through the day, and I become tired.

“Next morning, I’m rested. Though I enjoy my work through the day, I become re-tired.

“That is my retirement.”

Larry Darnell worked as a Manufacturing Engineer, then in sales in different fields. Now he is working on a book titled How I Evolved From A Chicken Into An Eagle, along with various other projects. He doesn’t think of himself as being “retired”; he just has more freedom to choose what he does during the day.

KEVIN MCMANUS: Bedside Manner

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

My surgeon departs the room.

With a reassuring smile, the anesthesiologist tells me to count down from 100.

98, 97, 96…

Before leaving, he farts loudly. He turns to me with a menacing look.

I close my eyes, pretending not to have heard. My future in his hands, I sleep.

Kevin McManus wrote this story.

 

EMELYN FLORES: Will I See You Again Tomorrow Night?

Artistic, Submissions, , ,

That night, I decided to walk down your street.

You were standing by your doorstep, deciding whether or not you should go inside. I thought of conversing with you, but I couldn’t. I stepped aside and blended in with the bushes. Careful now… You might hear me, might see me.

Emelyn Flores is a Filipina university instructor who is a sucker for coffee.

JIM FREEZE: Making Music

Odd, Submissions, ,

The notes from the moodmakers sing the songs of life in vivid black and white.

A young man of merit leads the intended musical melody. But what is an intention if he can’t sustain it?

Regardless of disharmonies, he is an entertainer’s entertainer: the only interruption he tolerates is applause.

Jim Freeze is 69 years old and retired and has been married to the same woman for 51 years. He started writing in June 2013 just to have something to do.

BOB THURBER: The Mapmaker’s Calligraphist Daughter

Adventure, Submissions, Top Stories, , ,

Between measured strokes and subtle flourishes the mapmaker’s daughter dips her quill, carefully blotting the tip before proceeding.

Each night she obediently transcribes the names of fictitious landmarks—phony towns, nonexistent roads, unreachable waterways—her overprotective father designates along longitudes and latitudes that suitors unwittingly follow to God knows where.

Over the years Bob Thurber’s work has received a long list of awards and appeared in 30 anthologies. His most recent book is a collection of brief stories titled Nothing But Trouble. Visit BobThurber.net.

JOHN H DROMEY: Camera-Shy

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, Submissions, , , ,

“I’m worried about our youngest daughter,” a concerned parent said.

“Why’s that?”

“I’ve been monitoring Carrie’s online activity. In recent weeks, she’s posted dozens of photos on social media sites, and I’ve noticed she doesn’t appear in a single one of them. I think she’s suffering from low selfie esteem!”

John H. Dromey has had short fiction published in Black Denim Lit #7, Plan B Magazine, Plasma Frequency Magazine, and elsewhere.

PHILIP ZUNZUNCITO SEQUOIA: Hot Under the Collar

Amusing, Odd, Submissions, , ,

Do I look to you as though I’ve recently suffered spontaneous human combustion, you silly man? I say of you, Lawrence, what I have always said: that you are a silly man.

Wait. Perhaps that charred looking fellow in the bandages is the one to whom you should be speaking.

Philip Zunzuncito Sequoia is a writer whose work has graced such fine publications as Freedbook and Patternotion.

DAVID WING: Bag Days

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Life in the bowl is certainly better than in the bag. I used to float there alone, watching as those hooked ducks wandered by, plucked from the water one by one, vanishing, followed swiftly by each of my friends.

Now I have a bridge and a clam.

Life is good.

David studies creative writing and divides his time between walking his dogs and cooking pizza for his wonderful wife.

NAN McLAMB: Transference

Odd, Submissions,

The most communicative owl in the owl kingdom is perched outside Michael’s window. She’s on a chatter-on-chatter-off schedule: approximately twenty minutes chatter, ten minutes silence.

During the silences, Michael’s been sleeping and dreaming in vivid bursts. He’s expecting the dialogue of these dreams to soon be reduced to, “Who? Who?”

Nan McLamb lives and writes in a Carolina pine forest wedged between a swamp and the ocean. She is rarely kept awake by owls.

SHARK TRAGER: Logophobia

Submissions, Touching, , , , , ,

Words terrify me. Their power and immediacy. Will you marry me? Changing everything. Just an articulation of speech. I do. Words transforming worlds. Like a head on collision. It’s a girl. Easier than falling from a great height. I don’t love you anymore.

So I just say nothing these days.

Shark Trager struggles with finishing his works of artistic frivolity so has taken to writing microfiction because not finishing a 50-word story is less reckless.