Don’t feed the monsters under your bed.

And never confuse monsters with what they eat.

They’ll tempt you to think your wife is a monster who’s using your stepmother’s exact tone of voice.

Be wary, or you’ll feed her to them.

Is it already too late?

You have my number.

Charlie B. is an emergency room nurse in the Ozarks.  He placates the monsters under his bed with peanut M&Ms. The crunching sounds help him fall asleep after a long shift.