been going on and on about itself.
Ahab wants out.
Cracking the door,
he is blasted. Crouching,
ears flattened, he retreats.
Sitting Buddha-like now, licking his wounded pride,
he pauses to bring his puffy tail about, and lay it by his side.
Like a monk adjusting his robe.
Matthew lives in Maine.
“Are you sure? It’s a near white out.”
“Really, I’ll be okay.”
“They won’t find your body until spring.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Call and let me know how you’re doing.” She waited until his figure was engulfed by the storm and then dropped the cell phone battery into the wastebasket.
Ray Wirth has survived more than 30 Maine winters. He teaches English in Searsport, Maine.
Percy peered out the window of his old, beat-up car, scanning the dismal grey plains. Rain again.
The endless prairie highways made Percy feel like he was constantly moving but never approaching his destination. To stay sane, he counted raindrops, trying not to think about who was in the trunk.
Wind whistled through the trees. He was only halfway through Greensleeves before Lightning asked if whistling was not maybe just a bit too jaunty, given their predicament.
Wind complied as he helped his friend untangle himself from his airbag. “Just try not to crash so hard next time.”
Jeremy Petter is a student of English Literature and Theatre at the University of Victoria. Until recently, he wrote, performed, and sometimes edited funny things for LoadingReadyRun.com, but he’s on indefinite hiatus at the moment to grow his brain. He is a co-organizer of Desert Bus for Hope, and an avid fan of ducks.
It was a dark and stormy night.
The meteorologists were all very confused. They had anticipated darkness (because the first lesson of Meteorology 100 is that it’s always dark at night, which tended to confuse the Alaskans), but most of them had only predicted light showers.
Actually, none of them cared.
It was so oppressively hot outside that I could’ve fried an egg on my forehead (so long as I was wearing a camping stove as a hat and had a tank of propane and some matches handy).
So I went inside, turned on the air conditioning, and took a nap.
The igloos were melting.
On the one hand, the warmer temperatures meant there would be more people around. On the other hand, it meant they’d soon be staying in tents. Tents were easier to break into, Percival the Polar Bear knew, but he found that igloos kept the humans fresher.
“Stop! You’re making me uncomfortable! No! I said back off!” Sharon stumbled away and sank to her knees on the grass, tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t touch me! I’ll scream!”
Sighing, the Wind turned to leave. It was beginning to think it would never find someone to love.
“It’s gonna rain today!” declared Old Oliver. “I smell it in the air!”
“It’s gonna rain today!” declared Senile Sam. “I feel it in my knees!”
“It’s gonna rain today!” declared Geriatric Jim. “I hear it in the wind!”
“It’s gonna rain today,” said Teenaged Tracy. “The television told me.”