Despite being a communications major, I searched for a mime boyfriend because I figured he’d allow me sufficient space, some peace and quiet.
Well, I figured wrong.
Once the mime started talking, the guy never shut up. Yada, yada, yada. Politics, comics, movies, save the whales.
Save me. Zip it.
Roberta Beach Jacobson is a humorist from Iowa. See more at RobertaJacobson.com.
Every morning, rain or shine, after his breakfast, Roland negotiates the overgrown sidewalk to his mailbox. Most days he finds it empty, but occasionally there’s a bill or political ad.
Neighbors sent him a pamphlet highlighting snail mail addiction. Roland reviewed it, painstakingly resealed it, then specified “Return to sender.”
Roberta Beach Jacobson is a humorist from Iowa.
Molly set the deadline to shed her excess weight – the county picnic.
Dieting was slow, so she ditched a few body parts. Success! Check that scale.
Her pound-shedding continued. At the picnic, Molly was nothing but a pair of sparkly pumps.
The mayor declared, “Best darn shoes in the county!”
Roberta Beach Jacobson is a humorist from Iowa. See more at RobertaJacobson.com.
Who are these senior citizens who surround me?
I see retirees decked out in bifocals and new teeth, but I remember energetic cheerleaders, state football champs, school newspaper reporters.
As we pass phones to share photos of our kids, grandchildren, and pets, we promise to meet again in 10 years.
Roberta tried retiring, but it didn’t work. See more at RobertaJacobson.com.
I filled sacks with too-snug jeans and sweaters; my closet was finally getting uncluttered.
A fellow donor at the charity shop drivethrough extracted a train set and scooter from her van. I helped her with a dirt bike.
“They grow up so fast,” I commented.
“Tommy had leukemia,” she replied.