Tag Archives: robot

First Runner Up – DANIEL WATSON: Robot Romance

Amusing, Contest Entries, Submissions, , , , , , , , ,

Daniel earned runner up honours in the Valentine’s Day contest with this story:

I am a robot in love with a human.

One day she walked past.

“Level of fine: incalculable.”

She be like, “Oh please, honey, you a robot.”

I said, “Be my Valentine, and I will love you always and forever.”

“I’ll pass.”

I pinched her booty and she left me.

Daniel Watson graduated from Florida State University last April with a degree in English creative writing and philosophy. He now lives in Greenville, South Carolina, where he is a project proposal editor for a corporation called Fluor.

Editor’s Note: For the best experience, try reading this story out loud to someone while doing character voices!

Giant Plastic Colander of the Soul

Odd, Touching, , , ,

He let the stresses of life bleed off and burn away, leaving behind only his inner self.

Trapped inside his shell, life was difficult, but that was why, once a week, he removed his bodiless brain from his metal-and-plastic body, soaked in some formaldehyde, and just relaxed for a while.

I consider this story an informal companion to Like Inside-Out Acupuncture.

Like Inside-Out Acupuncture

Amusing, Odd, Touching, , , , , , ,

As a robot, he was made of technology. He wasn’t really a fan of the stuff: when he wasn’t upgrading his operating system, he was patching his peripherals or flashing his BIOS.

But every now and then he got to update his firmware, and on those days, life was good.

The Lynx, the Puma, and the Jaguar

Odd, , , , ,

“Man, the new episode of that cartoon yesterday was phenomenal. There were a lynx and a puma, and they were riding around inside a jaguar…”

“What kind of Jaguar? An XFR? An XKR? An XJ?”

“…No, it was a robotic jaguar.”

“Like a Transformer?”

“I don’t think you’re understanding me.”

Can someone please please please please draw me a sketch of a lynx and a puma riding inside a robotic jaguar? PLEEEEEEAASE!?

This story was based on @gaymerinla‘s response to my request for two mammals and a vehicle.

TOM BRENDLINGER: The Pursuit of iHappy

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

“Is this what happiness is supposed to be like?” he asked himself. “Am I happy?”

He stepped out of his door. “Have I ever been happy?”

He made his way toward town.

“Oh, right. This makes me happy!” he thought, as his robot hands crushed another puny human head.

Tom Brendlinger often goes by the username of TomBrend.