“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

“I’m a victim of porch pirates.”

“Which delivery service?”

“None! Why ask me that?”

“We may want to interview the driver.”

“I don’t know who drove the getaway truck for the board bandit.”

“The what?”

“The thief. With sky-high lumber prices, someone stole my hardwood porch.”

John H. Dromey’s short fiction has been published in Mystery Weekly and many other places.