A pauper found a bronze oil lamp. He rubbed it and a beautiful genie emerged from a cloud of pink smoke.
“For releasing me, I shall reward you one wish,” she said.
“I wish to live a very long time,” he said.
So she transformed him into an oak tree.
This is the first in a series of stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed multiple other series.
Evan Edgelow punched Timothy Thicke in the face. Hard. “TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!” he screamed.
“I don’t know anything!” choked Thicke.
“Just tell me and I’ll stop!” shouted Edgelow. “You have my word!”
“I didn’t take your candy bar!”
“Oh, it’s in my pocket,” said Edgelow. “Sorry.”
The only difference between this torture scene and any given torture scene in 24 is… Well, nothing, really. Marginal justification? Check. Personal relationship or history with the victim? Check. Unrealistic success rate? Check.
Dr. Snyder was a proud papa: his android, A.L.Y.S., was leaving the lab to join human society.
To him, she was the most amazing thing he had ever created.
He tearfully sent her on her way, only to watch her stop ten feet later to talk to a parking meter.
This is the seventh in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
A.L.Y.S. was very eager to receive her latest improvement, the capacity to understand taste and flavor. She would not gain nutrients, but she could improve her assimilation into human society.
Unfortunately, the three-course meal Dr. Snyder cooked her went cold as she gleefully refused to stop tasting her empty spoon.
This is the sixth in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
“I found these,” A.L.Y.S. the android told Dr. Snyder, holding two gel-filled orbs. “I assume these are posterior pads. It would be nice to have something softer to sit on than titanium.”
Dr. Snyder removed his glasses and softly cleared his throat. “Actually, those orbs won’t be positioned behind you.”
This is the fifth in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
A.L.Y.S. the android hated the alteration in her appearance.
Sometimes, Dr. Snyder would alter her structure to make her more powerful or efficient. This time it was her own decision.
She looked woefully into the mirror, and Dr. Snyder shook his head. “I told you your hair wouldn’t grow back.”
This is the fourth in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
A.L.Y.S. the android had run out of heavy things to lift in the laboratory.
“Why must you do this?” asked Dr. Snyder, her creator.
A.L.Y.S shrugged. “I now know how much everything weighs, except for one thing.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
A.L.Y.S grabbed him and hoisted him one-handed. “Seventy kilograms.”
This is the third in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
Dr. Snyder disapproved of A.L.Y.S.’ current choice in wardrobe, but he allowed the android to wear the green bikini when appropriate. All her time at the beach was spent lying statue still on a beach towel. She was disappointed, but Dr. Snyder insisted it was impossible for her to tan.
This is the second in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
A.L.Y.S. the android had just punched a hole in the front door while practicing the human tradition of knocking.
“Next time,” Dr. Snyder, her creator, scolded through the door, “just use the doorbell!”
Unperturbed, A.L.Y.S. noticed the tiny white button and punched it, creating a hole in the door frame.
This is the first in a series of seven stories from King Kool, who has previously contributed the Bumbling Magician and Kissing Frog series.
Eagor was asleep on the couch.
“Lazy nephew,” muttered Dr. Frankensteve affectionately. “I shall soon cure that!” He drew a device covered in blinking lights out of his pocket.
With a flash, Eagor was transformed into a super industrious bumblebeaver.
“What have I done!?” cried Dr. Frankensteve, and changed him back.