Penny’s monkey (having graduated cum laude) threw a fit to attend the lecture.
Nettled, Penny acquiesced.
Once there, the monkey grew bored. It leapt from her lap, chattered towards the podium. Before a janitor could be summoned, the monkey had explained evolution.
Penny was expelled. But the monkey got tenure.
C. B. Auder and monkeys share over 90% of their DNA. But only when the monkeys behave themselves.
Grinning, Earl invaded Gomper Hall, sporting a fuchsia waistcoat with orange-striped breeches, a feathered fez. His belt had bells!
Earl slapped distinguished backs, strutted past mouths agape, open as though for fishhooks. Gentlemen fanned woozy ladies.
Earl was removed.
(Nobody expected that heist. We’re still taking inventory of the loot!)
C.B. Auder might someday dream of a life jam-packed with flexi-twill cuffs and apricot capes.