Tag Archives: cannibal

I Want To Eat My Flatmate

I want to eat my flatmate
I think he knows it, too
He watches me suspiciously
Whenever we buy food

It’s happening tomorrow
I’m going to boil his head
Wait: is this a man-shaped pan
Hidden beneath his bed?

I want to eat my flatmate
He may eat me instead

This story/poem is based on a title suggested by @big_poppa_G.

They Taste Like Bitter Grapes

Randy burst through the door. “Mandy, do you only love me for my money?!”

Mandy looked up from her fashion magazine, startled. “What? No! Honey! I love you for your… well, for your eyes!”

Randy sank into his chair stuffed with hundred-dollar bills. “Oh, phew.”

Mandy gripped her eye-socket spoon.

True Wisdom

“Life is like pizza,” Giovanni once told me. “You can cover it with different toppings, but the core ingredients are the same. And no matter how you prepare it, some people enjoy eating it more than others.”

I thought he was so wise. Then I learned he was a cannibal.