Tag Archives: cannibal

I Want To Eat My Flatmate

I want to eat my flatmate
I think he knows it, too
He watches me suspiciously
Whenever we buy food

It’s happening tomorrow
I’m going to boil his head
Wait: is this a man-shaped pan
Hidden beneath his bed?

I want to eat my flatmate
He may eat me instead


This story/poem is based on a title suggested by @big_poppa_G.

They Taste Like Bitter Grapes

Randy burst through the door. “Mandy, do you only love me for my money?!”

Mandy looked up from her fashion magazine, startled. “What? No! Honey! I love you for your… well, for your eyes!”

Randy sank into his chair stuffed with hundred-dollar bills. “Oh, phew.”

Mandy gripped her eye-socket spoon.

True Wisdom

“Life is like pizza,” Giovanni once told me. “You can cover it with different toppings, but the core ingredients are the same.¬†And no matter how you prepare it, some people enjoy eating it more than others.”

I thought he was so wise. Then I learned he was a cannibal.