“Good evening, ma’am. We’re looking into a possible homicide. I’m Walker. This is my partner, Smith. May we come in?”
“Sure. But you’ll have to excuse the mess. I’ve been… Wait a minute. You’re not detectives.”
“No. But now that we’re in here, our ‘possible homicide’ has found its victim.”
Richard Black is an attorney and writer in Washington, D.C.
I didn’t tell my latest wife Mary about my previous wives until after we were married. Sooner would have tainted the mood of our nuptials.
My previous wives all died in tragic accidents.
Mary was upset. She had a tragic accident too. Her gun went off while pointing at me.
Joe Malone is living in a mud hut in South Sudan. Read more from him at http://joem18b.wordpress.com/.
“What are your plans for the future?” Grandma asked me during dinner one evening.
“Er,” I said. “Um. Uh. I guess…”
“You should become a lawyer,” she declared, “and find yourself a wife.”
So I went straight home, fired up PhotoShop, and started putting together some grad and wedding photos.
When the Stevestons throw a party, they go all out. Balloons. Streamers. Karaoke. Tiki torches. Pony rides. Fireworks. Food from every imaginable ethnicity, and then some.
And giant cupcakes. Car-sized cupcakes.
Or so they claim. They’ve been living here for ten years, and still haven’t found a reason to celebrate.
“Aww, where’s mommy?” they teased. “Is baby homesick?”
And she dried her tears and lied to them.
“I’m not homesick,” she shouted, and that wasn’t the lie.
“I don’t care about my mommy,” she protested, and that wasn’t the lie.
“Leave me alone!” she screamed, and that was the lie.
This story was based on a title suggested by Dan Hingston through the Facebook page.
“I’m very rich,” he told her.
“I have seven doctorate degrees,” he told her.
“I’m an Olympic gold medallist in track and field,” he told her.
“I have starred in three different Broadway productions,” he told her.
“I’m wanted in fourteen states for forgery, perjury, and fraud,” he told her.
An explorer found a frog sitting on a rock.
“Kiss me, traveler,” the frog said, “and I shall become a beautiful princess and be your wife.”
The explorer laughed. “What rubbish. You wish to make me look foolish!”
“Ok, I lied,” the frog said. “Can’t talking frogs be lonely, too?”
This is the fifth in a week-long series from King Kool.