She was charming, witty, intelligent, and beautiful. I had to ask her out.
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do that.”
“Ah. Boyfriend?”
“It’s not that. I’m an NPC. I’m not programmed to move from this spot.”
I paused, stunned. “Oh. That’s terrible.”
She nodded slowly. “I really have to pee.”
Soon to be a student of culinary arts and therefore thrilled that he can call himself an “art student” and act pretentious on a technicality, Bruce Rytel’s hobbies include writing, gaming, and going by a pseudonym. You can read some of his other works of microfiction at
The Brevity Cannon.
Editor’s note: An NPC, or non-player character, is a computer-controlled character in a video game.
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 4.7/5 (3 votes cast)
Posted by Tim at 1:24 pm on August 9th, 2010.
Categories: Guest Writers. Tags: Brevity Cannon, Bruce Rytel, hero, npc, video game.
Our Hero stood resolute in the middle of the rain-soaked, corpse-littered asphalt.
Zombie earthworms.
They inched closer, exuding sinister inevitability, crushed, broken, bloated, wasting away, and hungry.
Our Hero calmly set a bowl of oatmeal on the ground, flavouring it with his own blood.
That should keep them. For now.
I asked, on Twitter, what I should write a fifty-word story about today.
@dotsam wrote, “Saving the universe with a bowl of oatmeal.”
@RacoonResidue wrote, “Zombie earth worms.”
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 5.0/5 (5 votes cast)
Posted by Tim at 8:46 pm on January 29th, 2010.
Categories: Standalones. Tags: blood, earthworm, hero, oatmeal, savior, zombie.
“Oh man… You got owned! And he took your girlfriend, too! What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to become a recluse for two years and teach myself advanced martial arts so I can rescue her and be a hero!”
“That’s dumb.”
“…True. I’ll just find a new girlfriend.”
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
Posted by Tim at 3:19 pm on October 4th, 2009.
Categories: Standalones. Tags: comic book, girlfriend, hero, martial arts, recluse, training.