“Sam? Saaaaaam! There’s a dwarfy elf thing on the lawn!”
Sam rolled out of bed. “Quit gibbering, woman! What is it?” He stumbled to the window.
There was a hobbit in the front yard.
“Dwarfy elf thing?” said Sam. “You have to read some Tolkien.”
He went back to sleep.
This is a fifty-word retelling of JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Don’t read if you want to avoid spoilers.
There was a big war and the wizard dude and his friends were all fighting.
Meanwhile, that Frodo dude and the Gollum thingy got to the volcano. Gollum stole the magic ring and fell in the lava.
There were a bunch of weddings, and some people sailed away on boats.
This is a fifty-word retelling of JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Don’t read it if you want to avoid spoilers.
That Frodo dude hooked up with a froggy dude called Gollum and made a beeline for the volcano, but they had to fight this big stupid spider, which killed Frodo, except he didn’t actually die.
The wizard dude turned out not to be dead, either, so he went to war.