Stan poured himself a tall glass of milk.
Sometimes he got to thinking about the stuff that’s in milk. Blood, pus, artificial hormones. Sometimes that made him feel sick and put him off drinking it. But most times he just smacked his lips and knocked it back without a care.
Samuel Best is a Glasgow-based writer and also runs Octavius, a literary magazine for students studying in Scotland. Samuel is currently writing two novels based on different blends of Scottish national identity, violence and running away. He tweets at @spbbest and has more stories available on his website: samuelbest.weebly.com.
Johnny blamed the milkman.
“Why would the milkman steal the last jug of milk out of our fridge?” said mom. “He has so much of his own in his truck!”
“He’s greedy. He wants it all for himself.”
“GIVE ME ALL YOUR MILK!!” cried the Malevolent Milkman. “NOW!!”
“The milkiest. From cows.”
“The cowiest. Fat cows.”
“The fattiest. They eat at McDonald’s.”
“They eat at McDonald’s?”
“The McDonald’siest. But only on weekends.”
“Only on weekends?”
“The weekendiest. They’re the farmer’s days off.”
“The farmer’s days off?”
“His offiest. He usually–”
Gus poked his head into the fridge. There were three bottles of milk lined up on the top shelf. The label on the first one said, “Safe to Drink”. The label on the second one said, “Biochemistry experiment – poisonous!” The label on the third one said, “Other labels potentially backwards”.
The idea for this story came from a suggestion by @meur1234.
What could I write?
How could I tell him not to call, that I was going away and no longer needed him like I had before. Every day since we’d met he’d brought something fresh and new into my life.
The truth! Yes, the truth.
No milk today, thank you.
This guest story was written by Louise C.
The white rectangle was definitely “Milk”, and the banana-shaped scribble must be “Moon”, but the pink tangle of crayon squiggles rang no bells in Amanda’s head. At stake was Katie’s fragile artistic confidence.
“It’s a brain,” said Katie.
“Oh honey, I thought they all started with ‘M’-”
“Mom, it’s ‘Magination’!”
This Guest Writer story was written by Drew Mokris. You can see more of Drew’s work at www.LeftHandedToons.com, a very clever and very funny webcomic where he and co-founder Justin draw every strip with their “wrong” hand. Drew is also a flash animator; many of his flash cartoons can be soon on his personal website, www.SpinnerDisc.com.