Every morning, rain or shine, after his breakfast, Roland negotiates the overgrown sidewalk to his mailbox. Most days he finds it empty, but occasionally there’s a bill or political ad.
Neighbors sent him a pamphlet highlighting snail mail addiction. Roland reviewed it, painstakingly resealed it, then specified “Return to sender.”
Roberta Beach Jacobson is a humorist from Iowa.
Who would win: a bear or a man with a baseball bat?
Ralph and I want to liberate the animals from pens and slaughterhouses. But after liberation, we think they should participate in humanity’s deranged games, like cage fighting. We think it will, oddly enough, promote understanding between the species.
Wim Hylen’s work has appeared in Four Chambers, Café Irreal and McSweeney’s Internet Tendencies, among other places. He lives in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife and daughter.
Trying to outrun his pursuer, the terrified man scrambled and stumbled. It was too late; gigantic spiked forearms grabbed him. His captor was the size of a car.
Inside the Rhinoceros Beetle’s underground lair, human specimens of varying ethnicities were neatly arranged and labelled—each impaled with a giant pin.
Melanie cringes with horror when recalling the time she was made to stick pins into arthropods for a science project.
Grand Prize Winner: “Amusing” Category
We’re a feral family. Live out in the woods.
The kids begged for a picnic.
We gathered some tubers and roots and headed for the nearest subdivision.
Found a house with nobody home. Spread out our picnic on the dining room table.
Little Susie saw a cockroach bug and shrieked.
Joe Malone is living in a mud hut in South Sudan. Read more from him at http://joem18b.wordpress.com/.