Jack shifts his weight off his walking stick.
An 8.5-inch blade gleams. So this is the respect a pensioner gets.
He squints at the young man with the knife. Punk.
Jack raises his walking stick. “I was a weapons engineer for fifty years. And this is Wally, my homemade 12-gauge.”
Joey doesn’t have a walking stick and if he ever does get one, he probably won’t call it Wally. He can be found at joeytoey.com.
“What time do you get off work?” he asked the woman.
“My partner’s picking me up at nine,” was her reply.
“Come on up for coffee?”
She declined. “I’m meeting Sharon at Starbucks.”
He tried again. “What’s your favorite kind of birth control?”
“Vasectomy!” she shouted, pulling out her switchblade.
Harry Demarest has retired after careers encompassing scientific
research, teaching at a university, software development, web
application development, and voter database compilation and
distribution. He is now spending his time with his grandchildren and
writing memoirs and short stories.
“You have a gun? That’s crazy! I don’t want that in here!”
“Relax. It’s perfectly safe.”
“But guns are used for shooting things.”
“Yeah, like bad guys. Or moose.”
“But… Wait, what about bears?”
“Sure, I could shoot those.”
“The fewer bears in the world, the better. Get on it!”
This story is dedicated to Kate, who provided the title that inspired it.