BOB THURBER: The Eyelid Artist

Artistic, Submissions, , , , , ,

(For Trey, with everlasting love)

The last time the boy slept at grandma’s house he told her that portraits of her face had been painted on the inside of his eyelids, so that’s what he got to look at every night while he waited to fall asleep. He pinched finger to thumb. “Brush this big.”

Bob Thurber is the author of “Paperboy: A Dysfunctional Novel” and two collections of stories. A celebrated master of Flash and Micro Fiction, his work has appeared in 60 anthologies, received dozens of awards, and been used in schools and colleges throughout the world. He resides in Massachusetts where, despite severe vision loss, he continues to write every day. Visit his website at BobThurber.net.

JEFF NAZZARO: Free Bacon at the County Fair

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Piggies race on sawdust track, bandanas flying: red, blue, yellow, green. Girly squeals for Green. Final turn, Red spins wide, Yellow bashes Blue, and Green squiggles through to claim the checkered flag. Yay, Green! “Free Bacon” coupons for everyone!

Girly adds two and two—and lets out a heart-rending wail.

Jeff Nazzaro writes short fiction and poetry in Southern California. His microfiction has appeared in Dogzplot and Drabblez and is forthcoming in Blink-Ink.

JOHN H. DROMEY: Missing Ingredients, or Partway to Perfection

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, Submissions, , , ,

“Congratulations! Is it true your bride learned to cook, years ago, at her mama’s knee?”

“Yeah,” Jim said without enthusiasm.

“What’s wrong?”

“Polly’s perfect with shortbread and shortcakes but for everything else she only makes a half recipe. In hindsight, I reckon she ought to have stood on a chair.”

John H. Dromey has a rather short (but complete) story reprinted in the anthology Timeshift: Tales of Time (Shacklebound Books, 2018).

SIMONE SCHUTTE: Eels

Artistic, Submissions, , ,

We sit around the table grasping at the slippery eels of conversation. Better catch one soon, or it’ll be the weather next.

I imagine trickles of blood dripping from our ears the longer we talk, white collars stained red by desperation to belong, to impart some meaning to our lives.

Simone Schutte is a jack-of-all-trades, master of none. She’s a wife and mom, aspiring author, Pictionary artist extraordinaire, bookworm, photography lover, and green-fingered elf.

THANOS FILANIS: The Smell of Burning Paper

Amusing, Artistic, Submissions, , , , ,

“What are all those fires?” I asked.

“Oh, that? They’re burning books again,” said the ever-apathetic voice of my time-traveling guide. “Don’t worry, it’s just empty symbolism at this point. If they managed to get this far, you can bet they never would have read them in the first place.”

Thanos Filanis is a writer and IT student from Thessaloniki, Greece.

ARCADIA CONRAD: Advice for Those At the Water’s Edge

Artistic, Submissions, , , ,

When you pick up a seashell from the beach, you are receiving an opportunity from the ancient pandemonium of the water.

The water doesn’t owe you anything. But it puts out anyway.

“Here is something; don’t waste it,” it murmurs. What you don’t take, it will recycle.

Don’t waste it.

Arcadia Conrad teaches and writes in the South Bay Area, California. She really dislikes playing Two Truths and a Lie.

PETER VICKLAND: Utah

Artistic, Submissions, Top Stories, , ,

While smoking my second-to-last cigarette under a street lamp in the desert, I decided that life operated on bad metaphors and absurdist poetry.

As I was crushing the last embers, two jack rabbits ran pitter patter away to have their children and die among the sand dunes and salt flats.

Peter Vickland is a college student living and working in Sacramento, California. His hobbies, aside from writing, include reading and collecting books and not cutting his hair as often as he needs to, as he is frequently reminded by his loving girlfriend. See more at petervicklandwriting.com.

STUART ATKINSON: Gifted Mutt

Amusing, Odd, Submissions, , , ,

Labradors are clever and mine is really, really smart. He watches Jeopardy with my wife and me. He can answer more than she can, but neither of us tells her.

Once my wife is asleep he creeps into our room and licks my nose. Then we go chasing cars together.

Stuart is a retired teacher from New Zealand. He likes writing short stories and flash fiction.

TONY BLAINE: The Gunmen

Adventure, Submissions, , ,

Seven gunmen carried their six-shooters into the cavern, emptied their rounds into the beast’s flesh, and killed it like they’d promised. This way they’d be safe when they went to collect the treasure, even though all of them were out of bullets.

All but one.

He still had all six.

Tony Blaine is a writer and English teacher in the Pacific Northwest. He started writing fiction in college and hopes to get pretty good at it someday. Follow him on Instagram for more of his flash fiction or visit wheneverihavetime.com to read his full-length short stories.

ROBERTA BEACH JACOBSON: Matched with a Mime

Submissions, , ,

Despite being a communications major, I searched for a mime boyfriend because I figured he’d allow me sufficient space, some peace and quiet.

Well, I figured wrong.

Once the mime started talking, the guy never shut up. Yada, yada, yada. Politics, comics, movies, save the whales.

Save me. Zip it.

Roberta Beach Jacobson is a humorist from Iowa. See more at RobertaJacobson.com.