Jakob’s Idea

Jakob had an idea. It was a stupendous idea, a marvelous idea, a fabulous idea.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember what it was.

He asked his garbage man. He asked his barber. He asked a woman at the grocery store. They couldn’t remember, either.

Jakob’s dog knew, but she wasn’t telling.

The Johnsons Had Monkeys On Their Roof

There were monkeys on the roof of the Johnsons’ house.

No one in the neighbourhood knew how they’d gotten there, and the Johnsons weren’t responding to complaints, even though the neighbours, quite helpfully, sometimes left big red barrels on their lawn.

In the Johnsons’ basement, the Transmogrifier hummed and buzzed.

Effective Government

Dear Mister Mayor,

I wish that you would make it a holiday on every day. It would be a Great Idea.

Sincerely,

Timmy

***

Dear Timmy,

You’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? You’re a genius! I submitted the legislation this afternoon and it went into effect immediately.

Sincerely,

The Mayor

Knowing It All

Henderson Michaelthromp knew a lot of facts. He read encyclopedias, record books, travel brochures, even Hansards.

No one ever seemed impressed, even when he knew the average lifespan of a diabetic macaw.

Then one day Henderson knew just the right facts to save a little girl’s life. And he did.

Trickster Genie

The genie gave him three wishes.

He wished he could fly.

The genie granted his wish, so he flew and flew and flew.

He wished he could land.

The genie granted his wish, so he fell and fell and fell.

He wished he could survive the fall.

The genie winked.

Honeybuns

“Honeybuns, could I have that stapler? Thanks!”

“Honeybuns, could you grab me a pen? Thank you!”

“Honeybuns, could you stand up so I can scrape some honey off your bum onto my toast? Much appreciated!”

Ever since an ironic factory accident, Mr. Honeybuns had become much more popular at office.

TIM SEVENHUYSEN: Tea Party Gone Wrong

A raccoon, a wolf, and a bighorn sheep sat down for a cup of tea.
The kettle burned out, which made the wolf shout, “Woe, I say, woe unto me!”
Catastrophe brewed: the tea-less wolf stewed. (He was addicted, you see).

The raccoon knew kung-fu. Don’t ask about the sheep.


This story was inspired by a prompt from @Aeric90, who responded to a request for three mammals with wolf, raccoon, and bighorn sheep.

And That’s What He Did

Huddled in the muddy trenches, they dodged raindrops and warded off bullets with prayers.

“Man, this is really serious!” one soldier shouted to the other.

“Yeah, he usually writes lighthearted stories! This subject matter doesn’t really lend itself to jokes!”

“He’ll probably do some kind of meta-level cop-out with it!”