Only fifty words?
That doesn’t seem like very much.
It isn’t, but that’s all we have.
Alright, let me think.
You have twenty-three words left.
You mean we already started?
I’m afraid so.
Well, why didn’t you tell me?
Darn it! Okay, here goes: my story begins-
Jonathan Houston is a freelance writer who loves the great outdoors, films about redemption, and the occasional rack of ribs. But not necessarily in that order.
Unknown really hated it. Of all the places she could imagine being imagined into, inside the mind of a writer who only specialised in 50-word stories was probably the most restricting existence possible.
“Quick,” she thought to herself, “I must do something memorable!”
But there were only ten words left.
Oliver is 24, and lives in England. He dislikes the cold, that is, unless he is too warm.
“Halt, dragon!” called the knight.
“Who are you calling a dragon?”
“Oh, pardon me,” said the knight. “You looked like a dragon from behind.”
“How rude! I’m just big-boned!”
“I’m terribly sorry, gentle lizard. How can I make it up to you?”
“Don’t struggle,” said the dragon, and ate him.
His letter ended: “And so, glorious friend, I hope that my $33 Million will be safe with you. Awaiting your reply.”
He pressed send.
The Nigerian prince sat back in his chair and sighed. Some day, he hoped, he would find someone with whom to share his vast inheritance.
Graham Stark is a co-founder of LoadingReadyRun, an online sketch comedy troupe with four regular series on The Escapist.
Fifty-Word Stories: Volume One goes on sale tomorrow!
That means that this is Launch Week, and Launch Week means that I’ll be posting a story from a special guest every day, Monday to Friday, to celebrate! I’ll be featuring stories from MCM (1889.ca) and Woody Tondorf (Elevator Show, The Morning After), among others. There’s some great writing coming at you this week.
In preparation for the book release, I’ve spent the last couple of days putting together the FiftyWordStories.com Store. Today I brought the store to life (with a few hiccups; sorry if you were trying to access the site while I was tinkering with things), and you can see the print and ebook versions of Volume One lounging tantalizingly just out of reach. The products will go live tomorrow, which means that you’ll be able to
- Download the ebook bundle (containing the book in PDF, ePub, and mobi formats, along with the cover) directly from this site, after purchasing via PayPal;
- Click through to Lulu.com to order the book in print via my Lulu storefront; and
- Click through to the Kindle Store, where you can buy the ebook in mobi format and download it straight to your Kindle (or the Kindle app on your iPhone, etc.).
If you aren’t sure whether to download the ebook bundle from the FiftyWordStories.com Store or buy the Kindle version from the Kindle Store, the difference is that if you buy the bundle, you get the two other formats, as well, but you have to manually sync the mobi to your Kindle instead of downloading it directly to the device. I earn almost twice as much revenue from direct purchases vs. Kindle Store ones, but the choice is yours. If you buy from the Kindle Store and contact me afterwards, I’ll email you the ePub and PDF, as well.
Finally, if you know me in person and would like to buy the book in print, I may be able to save you a few dollars if you’re willing to wait until I have enough orders to get a “bulk” discount (and reduced shipping rate). If you’re interested in going that route, or if you have any questions or find any bugs, send me an email at email@example.com.