“The new custodian you hired is computer illiterate.”
“That shouldn’t matter. Our mops and brooms are low-tech.”
“Maybe so, but when he heard about a mouse in one of the outer offices, he decided to take drastic action.”
“What happened?”
“The trap he set broke one of the receptionist’s fingernails.”
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
Editor: Perhaps this is a companion story to The Mouse?
A mother had a jocular way of suggesting her offspring get some fresh air and exercise. She’d tell them, “Go outside and let the wind blow the stink off ya.”
That stratagem seemed to work quite well. Then, one afternoon, there was an unwelcome visitor to the neighborhood: a skunk.
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
If you’re ever in Judge S’s courtroom, remain alert. Literal-minded, he once threw the book—Exhibit A in a plagiarism case—at a sleepy defendant. During criminal trials, an overhead projector displays pertinent statutes on the ceiling: a graphic reminder from His Honor that no one is above the law.
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
“I’m practically freezing. Why do they crank the air-conditioner up so high at these events for seniors?”
“I don’t know. My best guess is the organizers suspect some of us attendees have gone past our freshness date. They keep the place as cold as a refrigerator so we won’t spoil.”
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
“I hear the company you work for is run on clichés.”
“Yes, like clockwork.”
“Can you give me an example?”
“Well, when the head honcho quit, he left big shoes to fill.”
“So?”
“Members of the Board of Directors are looking for a replacement. They’ve scheduled an interview with Sasquatch.”
John H. Dromey hopes he’s not a walking, talking cliché. To avoid giving that impression, he spends a lot of time sitting down.
Editor: Speaking personally, the slight delay in me “getting it” increased the groan size. Your mileage may vary.
Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. Misremembered incidents from way back when, some of which—through frequent retellings—have been hyperbolically embellished beyond all reliable recognition for anyone who wasn’t actually there at the time. Entertainment value? Priceless.
These days, smart-alecky fact-checkers with smart phones spoil all the fun.
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in over 220 venues.
He made sure to hand her a flower with an odd number of petals.
Alternately reciting “loves me” and “loves me not,” she pulled off the petals, one by one.
Leaving the last petal in place, she hesitated slightly, then handed the stem back to him.
He got the message.
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in over 220 venues.
At the police station, rollcall was over and the evening shift was getting underway.
“I’m wiring this rookie for his first undercover assignment. Hand me the goose tape, will ya, somebody, please?”
“Don’t you mean duct tape?” the rookie asked.
“Not for where your hidden microphone battery pack is going.”
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in about 220 venues.
A condescending acquaintance questioned an amateur musician.
“How’d your backyard concert go?”
“Great. The crowd spilled out into the alley.”
“I’ll bet you didn’t receive any material compensation.”
“Actually, I was given a portion of the gate.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I got a couple of boards and one of the hinges.”
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in about 220 venues.
Speaking to seniors, the emcee referred to iconic moments in vintage radio programs. Jack Benny’s vault and Fibber McGee’s closet struck a chord with everyone except one stone-faced woman.
“Was she afraid a smile of recognition would give away her age?” the speaker asked the organizer.
“No. Too much Botox.”
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in over 200 venues.