They say women use 20,000 words per day. I believe it.
Since we got the kitten, my wife’s vocabulary has been reduced to “cutie pootie”, “diddy thing”, “kittiness”.
Never thought I’d say this, but I miss the old days. There were too many words, but at least there was variety.
Captain Whiskers the ruthless kitty pirate had slit many throats to get this treasure. The first mate hammered the lock open and pushed the lid off the chest. He poured out the gold and jewels within, but Captain Whiskers didn’t seem interested, instead playing with the box it came in.
King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.
This story is a finalist for the Audience Choice Award and the Grand Prize.
Captain Whiskers, the legendary kitty pirate, gave her crew their heading. They would sail west towards Tasmania and its treacherous coral reefs. Tasmania wasn’t their ultimate destination, but they had to continue sailing west so the sun would stay behind them and the captain could keep sleeping in the sunbeam.
King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.
The Fuzzy Wave, captained by the kitty pirate Captain Whiskers, made its triumphant return to port. Her crew was on shore leave, instructed to return Sunday with provisions for the next voyage. Captain Whiskers’ meals for the voyage were already arriving, as rats scurried up the mooring onto the ship.
King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.
Captain Whiskers, the famous kitty pirate, cocked her head as her tail swept against the deck. The mast of her ship, the Fuzzy Wave, had been whittled down and snapped, stranding them at sea. She regretted her decision to allow the crew to use the mast as a scratching post.
King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.
Captain Whiskers the kitty pirate had barely escaped her last adventure. She may have lost two of her nine lives, but she was resolute. This was why she was afforded the authority of her vessel, the Fuzzy Wave. As captain, she was relieved the crew couldn’t mock her Elizabethan collar.
King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.
Rammy won the 2011 Valentine’s Day contest with the following entry:
Of course they look alike; they’re sisters.
Coincidentally, I met them on Valentine’s Day and immediately fell in love, and now they live with me.
It was through a want ad: “New in town. Looking for friends, a litter box, and meow mix.”
I named my kittens Always and Forever.
Rammy Meyerowitz is a Puzzle Person and a Cultural Marginal, as well as a jewish atheist and a secular humanist.
He defended himself the only way he knew how: intimidation was his only real weapon.
“Boogidy boo!” he cried, arching his shoulders and spreading his arms to make himself look bigger.
The kitten mewled. It was blind, so it couldn’t see his Intimidation Pose anyways.
But the grizzly bear could.
“You fool of a henchman!” cried the criminal overlord, with a mighty sneeze. “I’m allergic to cats!”
“But he’s such an itty bitty pretty kitty, isn’t he? Such a cutesy snootsy bittle snookums…”
“You fool!” cried the criminal overlord, with a mighty cough. “I’m even more allergic to lovey-dovey gibberish!”
Kittens! Kittens everywhere!
It was terrifying. Mortifying. A nightmare.
She stifled a scream. Then she stifled a yawn.
The warm, cuddly kitten bodies, like a soft, purring blanket, lulled her, despite her best efforts, off to sleep. And as she slept, she dreamed about the tigers that ate her mom.