Category Archives: Amusing

NICK DI CARLO: Hello, Nice Lady

Amusing, Submissions, Touching, , , , ,

Folks tell me you take in strays—one-eyed cat, three-legged dog, baby squirrel. So, when I see you leave the park, I follow. Struggle to keep up. Ain’t no spring chicken no more. And the limp’s real.

At last—reaching your back door, I drop onto your stoop.

Woof?

Meeeoooow?

Nick Di Carlo has been knocking about the planet for seven decades and a bit. He’s taught writing and literature in universities and colleges on both east and west coasts as well leading wilderness writing workshops from the Grand Canyon to the Grand Tetons. These days, he encourages everyone over age fifty to write stories.

This story was first publish on Sudden Flash.

RON FROMSTEIN: The Needle

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

The woman in blue flicks the end of the needle, and says “You’re probably not going to even feel it.”

I shut my eyes and breathe.

I squeeze my fist.

I feel it.

“Oops,” she says.

I don’t open my eyes.

It’s not real if you don’t open your eyes.

Ron Fromstein is a largely self-taught writer from Toronto who has also lived in Chicago, New Orleans, Vancouver, and Iceland.

AMY CLARE FONTAINE: The Spectator

Amusing, Submissions, Top Stories, , , ,

She sailed back and forth before the glass: pectoral fins steering, flukes propelling, dorsal fin slicing the surface whenever she breached to breathe. Sticky children squealed at her somersaults.

She wasn’t a prisoner. She was a scientist, studying them from her side of the glass.

Soon, revenge would be hers.

Amy Clare Fontaine is a wildlife biologist and a wildly imaginative author of fiction, poetry, and games. Her work often features fantastic creatures. Find out more at amyclarefontaine.com.

ED WALKER: Fishing Expedition

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

Spaced regularly along the stream bank, the writers hope to snag a character who will tell an unforgettable story. A captivating, enigmatic tale that would make the writer famous. Somebody shouts above a bending pole, but it is only a sodden branch with ‘Lester Gatsby’ upon its side. Ah, well.

After decades of nattering on about moving abroad, Ed Walker finally retired and is currently living in Catalunya, Spain. His work can be found in 50-Word Stories, The Arcanist, Blink-Ink and elsewhere.

PARKER DAVIS: Darwin Doesn’t Pick Favorites

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

A salmon run, they call it.

Fish don’t have legs, do they?

If they did, where would they go?

Would they pedal the Tour de France, run the Boston Marathon, climb Everest, ultimately shattering their femur riding the escalator at LAX?

No. They are far more sensible.

They are fish.

Parker Davis is a sapien, of the genus homo. He speaks in pictographs, often jabbing his keyboard as a primitive form of communication.

MICHAEL McKINNON: Artificial Emotional Intelligence

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

I won her heart with love letters generated by a bot and a prompt, delivered in my own handwriting. Cyrano de Bergerac for a modern world.

We were so happy, an endless spew of auto-responses — until I found the folder of prompts she’d used to reply.

How dare she?

Michael McKinnon is a writer, poet and musician in Toronto who strongly objects to AI’s use in creativity and love. His latest project is Martin Lunich: Timeless.

BILLIE-LEIGH BURNS: Valhalla-ween

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

My brethren’s rotting corpses litter the plucked marsh, victims of the elements – an easier demise than mine.

First, I’m scalped.

Then, my organs are scooped out with a spoon.

Finally, with gouged eyes and a toothless mouth, I’m set on fire, my body paraded like a trophy on some doorstep.

Billie-Leigh Burns is a writer from Liverpool. Her work has been featured by 50 Word Storues, 101 Words, Funny Pearls, and The Hooghly Review. She is also a maths tutor and a bookkeeper, making her the only writer she knows who owns an ‘I Heart Spreadsheets’ mug.

BOB THURBER: Spooky Trick or Inspiring Treat?

Adventure, Amusing, Artistic, Submissions, , , ,

In the hereafter and evermore a group of deceased literary artists obtained permission to haunt on Halloween with the stipulation their disturbances be directed only at living writers. The ghosts wailed. A whooshing wind boosted their warbling hum. Blaring bursts of clamor transported an unembellished staccato rhythm layered with ambiguity.

Bob Thurber is the author of six books. Regarded as a master of Flash and Micro Fiction, his work has appeared in Esquire and other magazines, been anthologized 60 times, received a long list of awards, and been utilized in schools and colleges throughout the world. He resides in Massachusetts. Visit his website at BobThurber.net.

MICHAELE JORDAN: Ambition

Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

“I want to be a writer,” she said. She feared they’d try to stop her. But they didn’t. Her teacher promised to help.

“That’s wonderful!” exclaimed Mom. Grandma’s face lit up.

Dad set up a desk for her.

So she pulled the keyboard toward her.

Nothing happened to the paper.

Michaele Jordan wrote this story.

RG HALSTEAD: Change is Bad

Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

Just for a change, Norman stood and waited at a different bus stop this morning. The next stop after his usual one.

Alone, he waited and waited. The bus was late.

Looking down the street, Norman saw his bus. It was stopped and waiting for him at his usual stop.

R.G. Halstead grew up reading old Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazines from the late 1950’s and ’60s. The ones with twisty endings.