Category Archives: Odd

GAVIN McQUE: The Strange Condition Known as Death

Amusing, Odd, Submissions, , , , ,

Death is an unsettling experience. The sudden weight-loss, poor circulation and depression has been known to drive many victims of death into suicidal states and impractical levels of homesickness.

Experts on the often fatal condition recommend emergency surgical obliteration of the brain as the most effective and efficient known cure.

Since his last submissions, Gavin has been writing for his local University and upholding a (mostly) weekly blog of his writings. He is quietly contented with life.

So You Gave Birth to a Dinosaur

Amusing, Odd, , , ,

“So you say you gave birth to a… dinosaur.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“And that’s him, there? He looks quite normal to me.”

“He’s a dinosaur, really!”

“Well, if he is a dinosaur, when I place my finger in his mouth he should—HE BIT MY HAND OFF!!”

“I told you so.”

This was story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.

Slug Face

Odd, Touching, , , ,

When the new girl entered, my face was covered in slugs.

I’d done it to get Kayley’s attention, and she was suitably grossed out, but as soon as I saw the new girl, Kayley didn’t matter.

By then, unfortunately, it was too late.

I live alone, now, with my slugs.

I imagine this as the origin story for some tragic antihero…

Fast Asleep

Amusing, Odd, , , , ,

Last night I went to bed early, which was a shame, really, because when I woke up (late), I found muddy dinosaur footprints all throughout the kitchen and dining room, and the big pot of soup in the fridge was empty.

I hope they come back again tonight. Chili’s on!

This story was based on the prompt “last night I” at TypeTrigger.

How Not To Tie Your Shoelace

Amusing, Odd, , , , , , ,

Georgiana shielded her face from the searing heat as she portioned out the molten silver. The cave echoed with the howls of wolf pups.

As sweat beaded on Georgiana’s forehead, she counted backwards aloud: “Nine… Eight… Seven…”

Not for the first time, she thought, There must be an easier way…

This story was based on a title suggested by @salmir.

This Hunger

Amusing, Odd, , ,

What can I do with this hunger?

Feed it, when I must: satiate it, if I can, though it seems I’m never satisfied.

Ignore it, when I’m able, but it consumes me incessantly.

Surrender to it, when I can’t help but be overcome. Dance to it.

More Phil Collins, please.

This story is dedicated to Justin Boyd. It was based on the prompt “this hunger” at TypeTrigger.

Nobody Understands Me

Amusing, Odd, , ,

You think you understand me? What a joke. No one understands me. No one even tries.

You write me off, dismiss me. You try to diagnose me, apply your useless labels.

Open your ears! Listen, for once. “Foogledy balpadons, hormeath!”

See? You’re making that distant, absent face again… Nobody understands.

This story was based on the prompt “understand me?” at TypeTrigger.

Assuaging Thine Anger

Odd, ,

“You shall suffer my wrath, puny one!”

“Perhaps I shall, but you, too, shall suffer it, I think.”

“Indeed I won’t. My own wrathfulness amuses me.”

“Yet does it not also give you heartburn?”

“It has not done so before.”

“Nuts. What shall I do with all this Tums, then?”

Barry the Wise Old Bear

Amusing, Odd, , , , ,

“Once AGAIN, I remind you that NO ANIMALS are allowed in the classroom during an examination.”

Jeremy patted the enormous grizzly bear’s head. “Why not?”

“He might, er, help you cheat.”

“Barry would NEVER do that,” said Jeremy, surreptitiously hiding his exam paper, on which he’d written “Grrr, grroowl, roooaarr.”

This story was based on the prompt “once again” at TypeTrigger.

Strange Tastes

Amusing, Odd, , ,

She invited me in after our third date.

What I found in her refrigerator was shocking. The shelves were packed with yogurt, cheese, sour cream, and, maybe worst of all, two cartons of chocolate milk!

“Betsy, what is this?” I cried. “Explain!”

She hung her head, sighed, and said, “Moo…”