“I won’t recommend seafood dishes anymore,” the waiter explains. “It has landed me in hot water too many times before.”
“Oh?” I say. “Do people really get upset with you when they don’t like your suggestions?”
“I mean literal hot water,” he says sardonically, clicking his lobster claws.
This story was based on the prompt “won’t recommend” at TypeTrigger.
“I’m returning this puzzle.”
“Sorry, we don’t do returns on products that have been taken out of the packaging.”
“But there were pieces missing!”
“Oh… I see the misunderstanding. You can’t get the corners here.”
“What? Where do I get them?”
“At a Corner Store. Duh.”
This story was based on the prompt “corner store” at TypeTrigger.
Glenda sashayed into the house pulling an overflowing shopping cart.
Trevor nearly fell off his chair. “What in the world? Where’d you get all that butter!?”
“I was couponing,” explained Glenda, “and I got on a roll…”
“What are we supposed to do with it!?”
“…Put it on some rolls?”
“Man, you’re SUCH a bummer.”
“I am? I didn’t realize… I thought you invited me on this live animal capturing expedition because you enjoyed my company.”
“I do! But, see, when I tag the animals, I shoot the dart into their shoulders… Why do you keep aiming for their rumps?”
This story was based on the prompt “bummed out” at TypeTrigger.
“I know how pretty I am,” she crooned. “Tell me something else about myself.”
“Ah,” I said. “You’re just so… attractive, really.”
“No, something else!” she insisted.
“You’re… pleasing to my eyes?”
She softened, but was not yet appeased.
I wish my next attempt hadn’t been “pulchritudinous.”
This story was based on the prompt “something else” at TypeTrigger.
“I have never before encountered such impudence!” blustered the King. “It is an affront! It is an outrage! Insulting! Degrading! Disrespectful! I should have you put in the stocks, clapped in irons, hanged, beheaded! You’re just so very, very… Well, impudent!”
“My most humble and sincere apologies,” said the imp.
This story was based on the prompt “never before” at TypeTrigger.
Chick flicks, tragedies, heartbreaking anti-romances… She couldn’t get enough. Those faces on the screen, looming large, eyes, noses, mouths puckered in anguish, terrified: “Love me! Love me! I don’t want to be alone!”
Her hard drives were filled to the brim with her obsession. She was downloading torrents of tears.
This story was based on the prompt “torrents” at TypeTrigger.
“It’s Leap Day!” said Benjamin Bear. “Let’s have an adventure!”
“We could go swimming in the ocean!” said Bartholomew Bear.
The two boys ran to the shore and dove in, laughing and splashing and playing.
“Swimming is pawsome!” they said.
“More like jawsome,” said Samuel Shark, eyeing them from below.
This story was based on a pun I saw on a McDonald’s Happy Meal bag.
The pirates broke into cheers as the monster finally collapsed.
They had been waiting a long time for this moment. With the leviathan defeated all of its fabled riches would be theirs.
However, with much dismay the pirates realized that the legendary goldfish was not, in fact, made of gold.
Cameron Boyce is a high school student. He enjoys puns and wordplay though he hasn’t written any stories before.
This story is a finalist for the Audience Choice Award and the Grand Prize.