NEWS: Christmas 25% Off Sale

November 30, 2011Newsbook, bundle, cheap, deal, Merry Christmas, rebate, refund, sale, shop, store, t-shirt, valueTim

Still haven’t picked yourself up a 50-word stories book or t-shirt? Well now’s the time!

Starting today, until the month of December, all FiftyWordStories.com products and bundles are 25% off when purchased online! That means you can save $3 off a book, $5 off a t-shirt, or up to $10 off a package deal, like the Big Bundle!

This sale is in support of the Diaper Fund.

Since I’m running kind of a cobbled-together PayPal store setup, I’ll be applying the discount as a refund after your purchase. Just make your order normally and, to help me out a little, put the phrase “Christmas Deal” into the “Any special instructions or requests?” box. I’ll refund 25% of the order price (excluding shipping) to you.

Note: Story shirts are sold out in sizes above Large. There is one XL shirt with a logo but no story; email tim@fiftywordstories.com if you’re interested.

Pick-Up Line Punch Up

November 30, 2011AmusingCharles Dickens joke, hurt like the Dickens, pick-up line, slap in the faceTim

I used my best line. I’d been saving it for a week, waiting for the right girl in the right bar.

“Are you wearing bird pants?”

She corked me one right in the nose.

It hurt like reading Dickens, but my friends laughed a lot, so it was worth it.

This story was based on the prompt “corked” at TypeTrigger.

The Necromancer’s Dog

November 29, 2011Amusing, Touchingcompanionship, dog, Fido, magic, necromancy, puppy, raising the dead, undead, wizardTim

Living amongst death and decay was simply part of being a necromancer, but Khin-Topekh hadn’t expected so much loneliness.

Employing his best problem-solving skills, the necromancer went to the pet store and picked out a puppy.

Little Fidus made him very happy, until she started stealing bones from his corpses.

This story is based on a title suggested by @Invariel.

M. ELAINE MOORE: Letting Go

November 28, 2011Submissions, Touchingchildren, cute, first day, kids, M. Elaine Moore, schoolTim

Fifteen thousand and twelve things could happen between our car and his classroom.

I tell myself they won’t; I tell myself he’ll be fine. He doesn’t need me to walk him anymore. And I don’t.

But he’s my little boy, and it’s so very, very hard to let him go.

M. Elaine Moore is a North Carolina fiction writer and poet. Her work can be found in print in The Island Breeze, and Outer Banks publication, and online at Foliate Oak Literary Journal, Four and Twenty, The Camel Saloon, Apollo’s Lyre, Pond Ripples, Three Line Poetry, and the Journal of Microliterature.

Frank and Ronald

November 25, 2011Amusing, Oddaquarium, dumb, fingers, marine world, pull my finger, talking animals, tortoises, turtlesTim

“Hur hur, Frankie Boy! How many fingers am I holding up?”

Frank groaned. “Ronald, you’re a tortoise. You don’t have any fingers.”

“C’mon, Frankie Boy! Play along!”

“Fine. Zero.”

“Ya got me!” grinned Ronald.

The aquarium was blissfully peaceful for about ten seconds. Then:

“Hey, Frankie Boy, pull my finger!”

Passing the Buck

November 24, 2011Amusingfinders keepers, government, school, taxesTim

“Ooooooooh, shiny!” Mindy picked up the loonie and was instantly surrounded by every grubby-fingered toddler on the playground. “Back, you brats!” she shouted, holding it high. “It’s MINE!”

“I’ll take that,” snapped the kindergarten teacher, snatching the loonie.

“I’ll take that,” said the principal.

“I’ll take that,” said the government.

Bunnies!

November 23, 2011Amusing, Touchinganimals, birth, breed, bunnies, multiply, pets, pregnant, rabbitsTim

Venus came home to chaos.

“What is going on!?”

“Hi, honey!” said her husband, Chris, standing behind a hutch with their daughter on his shoulders. “Tina and I bought a few bunnies!”

“A ‘few‘?”

“Well, we took two, but by the time we got home there were a bunch more…”

This story is based on a title suggested by @TsukiakariUsagi.

On Problematic Road

November 22, 2011Amusing, Odd, Touching@THatherty, children, parenting, road, road trip, sad, sentience, street, Sunday driveTim

“Are we there yet?”

“No,” Mary snapped. Two of the kids started crying.

Ben ignored them.

Mary groaned. “Why do we even go for these drives? We don’t like it. The kids don’t like it. Nobody likes it.”

“Fine.” Ben turned the car around.

Beneath them, the road sighed sadly.

This story is based on a title suggested by @THatherty2.

BLANCHE CASE: Heartbreak

November 21, 2011Submissions, TouchingBlanche Case, friendship, heartbreak, love, MorriganTim

She lay on the bed and thought about the end of their friendship. Her heart ached.

It wasn’t a clean shot through head or heart, either; it was a slow knife through the stomach, quietly releasing bile and stomach acid. A drunken car ride home. A shamed car ride back.

Blanche Case camouflages herself with a “real job” while plotting to take over the world with artistic endeavors.

Rat Mummy

November 18, 2011Amusing, Oddcorpse, dead, death, Egyptian, mummy, ratTim

“Look, Pa! A dead rat!”

“Lemme see, Gerald,” said Pa. “Ah, it’s only a skellington and a bit of skin. Musta died a long time ago. Funny how nice he’s sittin’, like he went out calm and peaceful. Makes you wonder, kinda.”

Deep inside Ratankhamen’s corpse, a long-preserved soul-spark flared.

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