Tag Archives: fat

TIM SEVENHUYSEN: Chivalry

“Halt, dragon!” called the knight.

“Who are you calling a dragon?”

“Oh, pardon me,” said the knight. “You looked like a dragon from behind.”

“How rude! I’m just big-boned!”

“I’m terribly sorry, gentle lizard. How can I make it up to you?”

“Don’t struggle,” said the dragon, and ate him.

But There’s Cake

Bollenhall is not a nice place. It is hot, dry, and boring. Very few tourists go there on vacation.

Most of Bollenhall’s residents leave when they reach adulthood. The mayor passed a “free cake on Thursdays” bylaw to convince people to stay.

Bollenhall’s residents are hot, dry, bored, and fat.


This story was based on the prompt “but there’s cake” at TypeTrigger. Read other writers’ responses here.

TIM SEVENHUYSEN: The Vanishing Buttons

Jonathan had a special relationship with his shirt buttons.

You see, Jonathan was corpulent, rotund. He relied on his buttons to keep his portliness in check.

But Jonathan never said “Please” or “Thank you” to his buttons, and they got fed up.

So during an important meeting, they ran away.


This story is based on a title suggested by @kinogami.

Does This Dress

“Have you seen my wallet?”

“No, honey, and stop trying to change the subject. Just tell me… Does this dress make me look fat?”

“I would never tell you a dress made you look fat. You’re beautiful.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet.”

“The other dress makes you look very trim, though.”

Every Which Way, or All He Ever Wanted In Life Were Some Cheese Byproducts

“MAKE WHEY FOR THE PRINCE!”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll step aside, didn’t see you coming.”

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

“I’m making way!”

“NO, NO, NO! I SAID ‘MAKE WHEY‘!!”

“Make weigh? What, does he need a scale to stand on?”

“ARE YOU CALLING HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS FAT!?”

“…No?”

“SUMMON THE EXECUTIONER!!”

Telling It Like It Is

“Oh yeah? Well your mama’s so fat she got hired by the fire department so people could fall out of burning apartment buildings and land on her without getting hurt! And she likes it!”

His friends hooted. “Solid comeback, mang!”

I folded my arms and sniffed derisively. “Your mama was so fat she died.”


Editor’s Note: This story was based on a call on Twitter for an adjective, a verb, and an adverb. @davefp responded with solid, fall, and derisively.