Tag Archives: funny

GAVIN MCQUE: The Fantastic Life of Bernard, the Troll-Riding, Sinophobia-Suffering Literary Adventurer

Gavin loved Bernie. He’d watched him from birth to death. He was a piece of his mind, an original creation.

He wept when the fifty words ended because he knew none could ever know Bernie properly. Or his Sinophobia. Not in fifty or fifty thousand words.

“What now?” Bernie asked.

Editor: Gavin was late including a bio, but he has an awesome name, in my opinion. And I doubt he’s sinophobic.

Added later: Gavin is a full time student who writes fiction in his free time. One day he hopes to write full time as he fears real work.

With waxy wings buzzing, and multifaceted eyes glowing maliciously, the fruit flies attacked.

In mere seconds, the unsuspecting picnickers were covered with a two-inch-deep blanket of angry, but harmless insects.

“We have them!” buzzed Franklin Fruit Fly. “What do we do now?”

And the swarm realized it had no follow-through.

This story is based on a title suggested by Nancy Cavanaugh via Facebook.

Ramone had a very diverse selection of friends. He enjoyed spending time with Havarti, Provolone, Mozzarella, and Brie.

He didn’t get along that well with Cheddar or Feta, but Gouda was fun.

Ramone’s mom told him, “Cheeses can’t be real friends,” but he knew better.

Oh yes, he knew better.

Jonathan had a special relationship with his shirt buttons.

You see, Jonathan was corpulent, rotund. He relied on his buttons to keep his portliness in check.

But Jonathan never said “Please” or “Thank you” to his buttons, and they got fed up.

So during an important meeting, they ran away.

This story is based on a title suggested by @kinogami.

An ostrich, a penguin, and a barn swallow walk into a bar.

The ostrich and the penguin seem uncomfortable. “Are birds like us allowed here?” they ask nervously.

“Follow my lead,” says the barn swallow. “No one will bother you as long as you sit at the bar ‘n’ swallow.”

This story is based on a prompt suggested by @Matt_LRR.