I am a thief and a liar.
Forty years ago, when I was eight, I stole my cousin’s glow-in-the-dark super ball from his house on Thanksgiving morning. I told mom I found it in the park.
The ball was lost soon after, but not the shame. That I still have.
Kenneth Drexler is a short story writer located in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. His most recent story will appear in the July/August issue of Bethesda Magazine.
I crouch, bound in tension, not daring to move, not daring to breathe, not daring to blink, lest I be discovered. The consequences would be extremely unsavoury…
Someone enters the room, stops, inhales deeply. Can they smell me? They depart.
I peek. The coast is clear.
This pie is MINE!
“They’re at it again.”
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
“Go out there and stop them. It’s bad enough they trespass onto our property. Now they’re starting to steal from us. I don’t know how much more I can take.”
“Honey, calm down, they’re just squirrels.”
Wendy Schmidt is a Wisconsin native who has written short stories and poems for the last 10 years. Her poetry and short stories have been published in Strange, Weird and Wonderful, Daily Love, Three Line Poetry, Tainted Tea, Fear and Trembling, and Midwest Literary Magazine.
Billy Goat was waiting in the yard when Mrs. Wolf came strolling by with her son in a stroller.
“Good morning,” said Mrs. Wolf.
“Have you seen my squirrel?” said Billy, icily.
“Your little pet?” Something inside the stroller squeaked desperately. “Ah,” said Mrs. Wolf. “Well, boys will be boys!”
He tried desperately to keep the merchandise hidden under his shirt, but the guard had already noticed his fumbling.
“Maybe you should’ve worked out a bit before trying to steal those heavy weights!” laughed the security guard.
“What do you think I want them for?” retorted the scrawny boy.
Justin Boyd writes and draws the webcomic Invisible Bread and is half of the duo behind Left-Handed Toons. He previously contributed Dental Scare.
Dr. Ruination plotted to steal the Mona Lisa for months.
He had a forgery commissioned so the theft would go unnoticed. His minions entered the Louvre and exchanged the Mona Lisa with their forgery.
They were crestfallen to discover someone had already stolen it, this replica going unnoticed until now.
This is the first in a series of five stories by King Kool.
My brother called me a prison probability. I told the pansy, “Shut up,” shoved four candy bars down his pants.
The fat lady lurched from behind the counter, grabbed his collar, half the stash, shrieking, “Snot-nosed delinquent!”
After mom whooped him, I snuck into his room: “Hand them over, punk!”
Meg Tuite’s writing has appeared in numerous journals. She is the fiction editor of The Santa Fe Literary Review and Connotation Press. Her novel “Domestic Apparition” (2011) is available through San Francisco Bay Press. She has a monthly column “Exquisite Quartet” for Used Furniture Review. You can read her blog at http://megtuite.wordpress.com.
Today we’ve got too many professional law-upholders sittin’ at home, out of a job. Why? ‘Cause they do their work too well! Nobody treats crime like business anymore. It’s a risk versus reward thing.
That’s why I got a government bank account and a brand-new job description: increase the reward.
Jimmy always brought tater tots to school. Worse, he flaunted them.
That made him a target.
Ryan drew the plans up, Kevin swiped the locker keys, Megan played the decoy, and Aiden prepped the route to the hideout.
But Brandon forgot to bring the ketchup, so they tattled on him.
This story is based on a title suggested by a participant in a 50-word stories live-writing session.
George and Geoffrey Giraffe, those rascally brothers, were bored one day, so they decided to “borrow” a helicopter.
“We’ll have a whale of a time!” they told each other. “Let’s tie a net to the chopper and dredge up an orca!”
But they’d forgotten that their necks were so long.
This story was based on a call for two mammals and a vehicle. @BlameWizards provided giraffe, whale, and helicopter.