Trillions of stars exploded. At least, they tried to, but Physics said, “No you don’t, sillies. That’s not how it works. You have to become Red Giants first.”
But the stars decided they didn’t like Physics very much, so they stuck his head in a black hole and exploded anyways.
I have all of the entries everyone sent in for the Mere 50 Words contest, and there are some really great stories in there!
I apologize that I haven’t chosen winners yet; I’ve been really busy with moving into a new place and then going to staff a summer camp for a week, so I haven’t been able to sit down and start picking favourites yet. I intend to do some reading and choosing this week, and then I’ll reveal the winners as daily updates from Monday to Friday, starting on either September 7 or September 14.
As a reminder, if your story is chosen to win a prize I’ll be contacting you at the email address you used to submit the story. If your story comes up as a winner and the email address you submitted it with isn’t going to work, just send me a note at tim@fiftywordstories.com and we’ll sort things out.
Sunlight crept over the misty vale.
A small, spotted fawn nuzzled its motionless mother. “Get up, mother!” it said, its tremulous voice full of worry as tears fell from its wide, innocent eyes. “Get up!”
“Shut up, Bambi,” said mother. “It’s, like, six o’clock… Can’t a doe get any rest?”
The gunshot rang through the crowded auditorium.
The bumbling magician’s assistant had shot him in the head, shattering the pane of glass placed between them, yet the magician was unhurt.
He didn’t know what to do next. Nobody would believe he’d really caught the bullet after he accidentally swallowed it.
This is the fifth in a series of five stories submitted by King Kool.
The bumbling magician’s new assistant scoured the city for a pair of fake legs for the classic “sawing a woman in half” trick. She compared mannequins’ legs to her own until she found a match.
Unfortunately, the magician hadn’t mentioned that he’d really wanted to saw her in half vertically.
This is the fourth in a series of five stories submitted by King Kool.
The bumbling magician waved his wand in a small circle. The unmistakable yet intangible power sent a tingle through his tendons.
He brought the wand above his head as Zeus held his lightning bolt.
With an incantation, something appeared in a smoke cloud: the keys he’d locked in his car.
This is the third in a series of five stories submitted by King Kool.
The bumbling magician bought a larger cage for his fat white rabbit. Its obesity meant it no longer fit inside the magician’s top hat and couldn’t perform.
Only when the magician noticed significant weight loss in his other white rabbit did he realize he was feeding one of them twice.
This is the second in a series of five stories submitted by King Kool.
The bumbling magician submitted a job listing.
WANTED: Magician’s Assistant to fill recently vacated position. Female in twenties with magical or theatrical background preferred.
Must be punctual, dedicated, and comfortable with provocative outfits, late nights and knife-throwing tricks.
Knowledge of first aid and experience removing stains from satin a plus.
This is the first in a series of five stories submitted by King Kool.
She was a couch lump.
All day, she did nothing but sit and squint blankly at walls, as if trying to see one of those three-dimensional image things with the weird patterns that you have to look cross-eyed at.
After her parents kicked her out, she stared at trees instead.
“What’s our special tonight?”
“Soup.”
“What kind?”
“Borscht.”
“…Is that soup, or stew?”
“It’s soup.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah I’m sure. It’s under ‘Soups’ in the cook book.”
“What cook book?”
“This red one with the gold filigree.”
“That’s not a cook book. That’s an encyclopedia.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“My bad.”