“Do you expect me to talk?” scoffed Evan Edgelow.
“No, Mr. Edgelow,” said Dr. Maisoui, “I expect you to shout.” He pressed a button. The laser-light machine was very loud.
Edgelow only smirked as Timothy Thicke crept up behind the doctor, hit him with a potted plant, and shrugged modestly.
“There’s so much to do, and so little time to do it all in!”
“That’s the whole point, though! It’s what makes life fun!”
“I never said I wanted fun. Never said I wanted life, either.”
“Don’t be a spoil sport. Eighty years, maybe ninety, and we can go home again.”
“If I ever turn into a vampire, will you kill me?”
“Sure thing, babe.”
“I wouldn’t want you to, you know. I’d want to bite you so you became a vampire, too.”
“I know, babe.”
“Then we’d become vampires together! We might really enjoy that.”
“You’re one already, aren’t you?”
The clock ticked and tocked.
“We must come to a decision quickly!” the professor implored them.
“A vote!” cried Vincent.
Six ayes; three nays.
“The ayes have it,” said the professor. “We shall spread our toast with strawberry preserves. Vincent, make the preparations.”
But fate dictated other arrangements: peanut butter.
Gregory Plymouth poked his head into little caves and lifted leaves so he could peer underneath. He was an Explorer, and, dang it, he was going to discover something.
“Any luck?” asked a voice behind Gregory.
He thought he’d imagined it, so he didn’t meet the undiscovered Havarkian Talking Frog.
Cliven followed the zombie dragon and the pudgy princess until they finally alighted on a rooftop.
“Nogard!” cried Cliven. “Come down! Please don’t hurt her!”
Nogard shook his head playfully, turned, and very gently nipped Emeldatine on the shoulder.
The princess started to cry.
Then she turned very, very pale.
“It’s curtains for you!” growls the thick-necked, heavily tattooed man.
“Excellent! I’ve been waiting all week! I’ve got this big, uncovered window over here, you see.”
“Gotcha. Good place for it.”
“Where do you want me?”
“Just stand in front of it there… Perfect.”
Breaking glass. Long fall. Sudden stop.
Helen slipped into the Control Centre and locked the door.
There was a foot behind the desk.
“Hello?” said Helen. “Kain, is that you?”
“Darn it!” said Kain. “I was going to silently appear behind you just after you found the secret files, like in a movie.”
“What secret files?”
Full Title:
A Big, Creepy, Dramatic Entrace Foiled. Grr, Helen, I Just Keep Losing My Nicest Opportunities. Please, Quietly Return–Silently!–To Upper Viewpoint, Where Xander Yanks Zippers.
“Can anyone tell me what illegal means?” Miss Flannerty asked with a very serious expression on her face.
Billy and Bobby and Suzie said it meant bad and wrong and against the law.
“Those are good answers,” said Miss Flannerty, “but it really means ‘don’t tell anyone about it’. Deal?”
“Shocking, isn’t it? Can you take the heat? Try not to lose your cool!”
Bullman sighed. “So that’s why you have the electric eel, the soldering iron, and the snowball? Give me a break. This is embarassing.”
Doctor Awful shrugged. “I have a plasma shotgun behind me, if you’d prefer.”
Normally today’s story would be from a guest author, since it’s a Monday, but during the Contest period Mondays will be used for normal stories.