“Wow, that thing’s huge!”
“It’s my latest invention!”
“Very cool.”
“I’m really proud of it. It can burn almost anything as a fuel source. Gas, wood, flour, cigarette butts, human flesh…”
“How about this mud?”
“It’ll run on mud, yep.”
“That’s so awesome. What does it do?”
“…It burns things.”
Editor’s Note: This story is based on a call on Twitter for a noun, an adjective, and a verb. @mochrie_rocks responded with mud, huge, and run.
When Madelyn was a newborn she would wake up. I’d get up with her to let Mom sleep and we’d hang out. Late one night the CBC showed a documentary which I believe will be her future. Synchronized Swimming. I always wondered how someone got their kids into bizarre sports.
Today’s second Guest Writer story is from Jeremy Baker, a music enthusiast and radio host. He writes about life and music on his blog, The Morning After, where he also hosts a podcast called Capital Rock City.
This story was originally posted here.
Swirls. They looked like galaxies. Far away galaxies, of which he was the creator, forming them with his almighty touch. With the same amount of ease, they dissolved, their form vanishing into the next creation. What power, to control worlds with such grace.
He realized his coffee was now cold.
BCTurk is an aspiring short film director/producer and video editor. You can find his work at http://www.youtube.com/BCTurk.
He poured concrete. He laid bricks. He hammered nails into wood.
He stapled tar paper. He put up siding. He packed insulation into the walls.
He spread out shingles. He rented a truck. He carried boxes. He painted. He assembled furniture.
Then his wife walked out.
He sold the house.
With feline grace, the household predator crept to the base of the table. Above, her prey slept, carefree.
With two quick hops, it was all over.
The cat smiled to herself through a crunchy mouthful of cat food. Yep, she still had it.
Her next sneak attack victim? The litterbox!
The veterinary Cleric plopped Nogard down on a padded examination table. He poked and prodded at the dragon for a few minutes.
“Hmm,” he said. “Oh my,” he said. “This is not good,” he said.
“What is it?” asked Cliven.
“This isn’t mange; it’s an advanced case of Necromantic Fasciitism!”
“Welcome to third grade!” said Miss Flannerty. “Let’s get to know one another! Tell me your name and your favourite drink!”
Billy and Bobby and Suzie liked apple juice and iced tea and Kool-Aid.
“That’s great!” said Miss Flannerty. “My name is Karen, and I like absinthe! Taste test, anyone?”
CRASH!
Two men burst through a stained-glass window and plummeted downwards.
One man screamed aloud.
The second man suavely raised an arm and caught the first as a parachute ballooned out of his sleeve.
“You saved me again!” cried Timothy Thicke.
Evan Edgelow smiled. “It’s what I do. Now, run!”
“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all night!”
“Get off the stage!”
“What, you wanna start something?”
“That’s right! Fight me, funny man!”
They fought. The comedian won.
“Go ahead,” said the heckler. “Make a joke at my expense.”
The comedian shrugged. “I don’t want to ruin the punchline.”
Editor’s Note: This story originally resulted in the police breaking up the fight, but I decided that using that ending would be too much of a cop-out.
The enders huddled together confused, searching for a way to begin.
“Is it possible?” asked Denouement.
“I doubt it,” sighed Foregone.
“Ha!” exclaimed Period, “I bet you it’s already happened!”
“Let’s ask Paradox,” suggested Unresolved, though he knew as well as anyone that Paradox was absent.
Paradox just smiled knowingly.
Today’s Guest Story comes from Jeremy Petter. Jer is a member of LoadingReadyRun.com, an internet sketch comedy group that updates with a new video every Monday. LoadingReadyRun (LRR) recently launched www.commodoreHUSTLE.com to hosts LRR’s web TV show commodoreHUSTLE, which updates with a new episode on the first Monday of each month.