Tag Archives: dinner



“Eat up!” said Mom.

Victor stared at his plate. Yuck. What was this slimy, moldy, mushy gunk?

“Don’t you like it?”

“Gross!” said Victor. “Is this rotten food?”

“It’s your winnings,” said Mom. “The ones you gloated about after Monopoly.┬áLike you said, to the victor go the spoils!”

I’m happy to announce the birth of my second son, Victor! This story is for him.

Eat Your Heart Out

“Want to go out tonight?” Kevin asked.

“I’d rather stay in,” said Jack. “It’s been a rough week. I went to break-up dinners with different girls on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

“I can see how that would be emotionally draining…”

“Emotionally? Heck no. But I’ve gained, like, seven pounds!”

Whatever Wipes Your Chin

“I prefer kleenexes, because they’re soft and comforting, like you.”

“I prefer napkins, because they’re tough and effective, like you.”

They had this conversation every single time they went out to dinner. Then she would sneeze, and he would spill on his shirt, and they would go home feeling rejuvenated.