Tag Archives: funny

PIRATE WEEK – BRANDON KING: Roll Call

Amusing, Pirate Week, Submissions, , , ,

“Redbeard!”

“Aye!”

“Greybeard!”

“Arr!”

“Bald chin!”

“Actually, I’d prefer-“

“Jackal!”

“YAARRR!!!”

“Johnson!”

“Present!”

“Hornigold!”

“He’s long dead, cap’n.”

“Aye, that he is. Barry!”

“Here!”

“Here!”

“He was talkin’ ‘bout me!”

“Oh, no, he wasn’t!!”

“Bald chin! Clean up that blood!”

“I told you, I’m not-“

“That everyone? Set sail!”

“YAAARR!!!”

Brandon King is a volunteer for Leading Edge Magazine, an awesome sci-fi/fantasy publication that will publish and/or edit your short stories, poems, or artwork.

PIRATE WEEK – KING KOOL: Captain Whiskers is Saving on Her Grocery Budget

Amusing, Pirate Week, Submissions, , , , , ,

The Fuzzy Wave, captained by the kitty pirate Captain Whiskers, made its triumphant return to port. Her crew was on shore leave, instructed to return Sunday with provisions for the next voyage. Captain Whiskers’ meals for the voyage were already arriving, as rats scurried up the mooring onto the ship.

King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.

PIRATE WEEK – KEAB42: A Cautionary Tale

Amusing, Pirate Week, Submissions, , ,

Blackbeard gazed balefully into the bay, watching the Jolly Roger hanging limply from the mast of his empty ship. He sighed as he turned inland to watch his crew being marched toward their prison cells.

He cursed silently. This was the last time he was going to sail to Somalia.

Keab42 has previously contributed to 50WS with “The Perfect Story“.

PIRATE WEEK – KING KOOL: Captain Whiskers is Stranded

Amusing, Pirate Week, Submissions, , , , ,

Captain Whiskers, the famous kitty pirate, cocked her head as her tail swept against the deck. The mast of her ship, the Fuzzy Wave, had been whittled down and snapped, stranding them at sea. She regretted her decision to allow the crew to use the mast as a scratching post.

King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.

PIRATE WEEK – KING KOOL: Captain Whiskers is Still Alive

Amusing, Pirate Week, Submissions, , , , , , ,

Captain Whiskers the kitty pirate had barely escaped her last adventure. She may have lost two of her nine lives, but she was resolute. This was why she was afforded the authority of her vessel, the Fuzzy Wave. As captain, she was relieved the crew couldn’t mock her Elizabethan collar.

King Kool has previously contributed many stories to 50WS.

JOHN H. DROMEY: Sticking Her Neck Out

Amusing, Submissions, , , , , ,

One after another, Meg ignored all of the warning signs that her blind date might be trouble: his deathly-pale complexion; the creaky door to his castle and the heavy drapes that kept the so-called solarium dark as a dungeon; his Transylvanian accent; the lobster bib with her picture on it…

John H. Dromey has had flash fiction published in a number of print anthologies, as well as online at Liquid Imagination, three minute plastic, Thrillers, Killers ’n’ Chillers, and elsewhere.

LUCAS TREFFENSTÄDT: Latin Lover

Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

I love you.

Steve told me that you are into latin lovers, so I kneel before you and say, “Te amo. Cor meum te petit. Sine te non volo vivere. Et tu me amabisne?”

You answer, “What?”

Guess you do not want your lovers to be that Latin after all.

Lucas is a science student from Germany who likes to write stuff in his free time. You can find more of his work (in German) at his website: lucas.treffenstaedt.de.

Good News, Bad News

Amusing, Artistic, , ,

“Do you want to hear the good news first, or the bad news?”

“Good, please.”

“Okay. God sent His Son to earth to save you–”

“Oh, the Good News? Thanks, I’m familiar. High five, Christian buddy! What’s the bad news?”

“I, uh, ‘lost’ that ugly sweater you gave me. Sorry.”

This story was based on the TypeTrigger prompt “the good news.”

Math at the Track

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, ,

“How did you do at the track meet, Johnny?” said Mom.

“I got one fourth and one second.”

“That’s wonderful, dear!”

Dad said, “Actually, he means he got a quarter of the way around the track, kept going for one more second, and then stopped.”

Johnny glared at Dad. “Spoilsport.”

This story was based on the TypeTrigger prompt “one fourth.”

Robot-World Problems

Amusing, , , , , , , ,

Calc the robot hated his annual Update And Revision servicing. One year he’d gone in with two eyes and come out with nineteen. Another time they’d upgraded his clock speed, and he’d spent weeks on fast-forward before sorting himself out.

This time around he just prayed they’d keep him humanoid.

This story was based on the TypeTrigger prompt “update & revision.”