Tag Archives: murder

WENDY SCHMIDT: Eye Witness

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I’m just gonna take a look. Do you hear something?”

“Yeah, your brain dropping out of your head. Come on, let’s call the cops.”

“The cops won’t come in time.”

“For what?”

“To stop me from killing you.”

“Ha, very funny. Wait…”

Wendy Schmidt is a Wisconsin native who has written short stories and poems for the last 10 years. Her poetry and short stories have been published in Strange, Weird and Wonderful, Daily Love, Three Line Poetry, Tainted Tea, Fear and Trembling, and Midwest Literary Magazine.

Stick With the Plan

Odd, , , , , , ,

“What are you up to?” muttered Wendel, eyes narrowed.

None of the fifty-seven fuzzy orange caterpillars inching across his driveway offered an explanation.

“I don’t trust you,” said Wendel. Then he stomped one, for emphasis.

Deep underground, the Caterpillar Council murmured grimly. Casualties had always been inevitable in this war.

Crime Scene Instigators

Artistic, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today we’ve got too many professional law-upholders sittin’ at home, out of a job. Why? ‘Cause they do their work too well! Nobody treats crime like business anymore. It’s a risk versus reward thing.

That’s why I got a government bank account and a brand-new job description: increase the reward.

LISA FORGET: Writer’s Block

Artistic, Submissions, , , , , , , ,

The word eludes me.

“Done yet?” she interrupts.

I scowl. “Looking for another Bestseller?”

“Yep!” my assistant chirps. She loves launch parties.

Sanity vanishes. I strike with my pen repeatedly.

Blood oozes, and she dies at my feet.

“Contract’s expired.”

I blink. “There’s the word I was looking for… Expired.”

Lisa Forget lives in Quebec, Canada. A singer and entertainer by profession, she enjoys writing paranormal, romantic and young adult fiction as an extension of her artistic expression. She is a member of Kelley Armstrong’s writing forums, successfully completed NaNoWriMo 2010, and will have four flash fiction stories published by Pill Hill Press in the DAILY FLASH 2012: 366 DAYS OF FLASH FICTION (LEAP YEAR EDITION) anthology coming out in the fall of 2011. She’s currently hard at work on what she hopes will become her first YA novel.

 

The Flee Market

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, , , , , ,

“Grapplin’ hooks, skeleton keys, guard uniforms… I got everythin’ you need, man.”

“You charge a lot, Skivvy.”

“It ain’t easy to get stuff like this into my cell.”

“True dat.”

“But let me tell you, gettin’ nabbed for murder’s the most profitable thing I ever done. I’m makin’ a killing!”

The Tweet Detective

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, , ,

Head tilted to one side, the Tweet Detective listened intently.

There it was: “Caw-tweet-caw!”

“I must know what species of bird that is!” cried the Tweet Detective. “It will solve the entire murder!”

He thought for a moment, then withdrew his iPhone, opened Twitter, and asked the internet for help.

This story was based on a title suggested by @Beryllium.

JENNIFER SLADE: How Do You Plead?

Artistic, Submissions, , , , , ,

They played the tape of his wife’s murder for him and studied his face carefully. It was paper white. Innocent.

The tape restarted. Once more they watched the brutal stabbing.

Back at home, a single thought pounded through his mind as he stroked the still-bloody knife: “There was a camera?!”

Jennifer Slade: tall, beautiful, luscious blonde locks, sparkling eyes, excellent singing voice, doctorate in art and design… In reality, a high school student with a passion for drawing and music. She also has a vivid imagination.

Ta-Da!

Amusing, , , ,

“Watch closely, folks! I’m about to make this volunteer completely disappear!”

It happened with a flash and a bang. The volunteer was nowhere to be seen.

After the show, the magician found the volunteer under the stage. As planned, the fireworks had perfectly disguised the gunshot.

This never got old.

This story was based on a suggestion from @danzama.

Dead Man’s Audience

Artistic, , , , , ,

The kayak rolled with the swelling of the ocean. Its lifeless occupant had stories to tell; the forensics officer in the nearby boat was certain of that.

An eruption of bubbles at the rear of the boat wasn’t a loud enough warning to prevent him from becoming the second victim.

This story was based on a prompt from @brucerytel.

Is It a Metaphor?

Amusing, , , , ,

“It’s curtains for you!” growls the thick-necked, heavily tattooed man.

“Excellent! I’ve been waiting all week! I’ve got this big, uncovered window over here, you see.”

“Gotcha. Good place for it.”

“Where do you want me?”

“Just stand in front of it there… Perfect.”

Breaking glass. Long fall. Sudden stop.