“‘Let’s go to the beach,’ you said! ‘Let’s go for a walk on the sand with baby Timmy,’ you said! ‘Let’s dress like giant crabs and pretend to kidnap him and take him to a magical underwater utopia full of laughter and song,’ you said! ‘He’ll enjoy it,’ you said…”
All posts by Tim
MCM: Justice
Two minutes later, the car was on fire.
“That’ll teach him,” grinned Jeff, phone to ear again.
“He’s cryin’!” laughed Turk from the other end, “Bet he wishes he paid up now!”
“Not so cocky without his precious blue Civic, is he?”
“Green Civic, dude. Green. The blue one’s mine!”
MCM is the author of The Pig and the Box and TorrentBoy: Zombie World, as well as the creator of the animated series RollBots. He is working towards certification for his insanity.
Happy Mother’s Evening
Sheila blinked as she awoke. The clock said six o’clock. Why wasn’t she tired?
Her husband and two daughters rushed in. “Happy Mother’s Day!” they shouted. “We brought you supper in bed!”
“Supper?”
“It’s six PM. We wanted to be original,” said her husband, brandishing a bottle of sleeping pills.
George 7: This Ends Now
Whirring, spinning, and hissing, Cyborg George advanced towards the unimpressed heifer, who stood at the fence chewing her cud.
“This ends NOW!” cried George, cocking the shotgun mounted on his arm. He raised his metallic arm high. “NOW!”
As if on cue, a bolt of lightning burst from the sky.
Interglobal Connectivity
“Life must have really sucked before we harnessed wormholes for space travel, ended poverty, and discovered telepathy,” thought Dangar, sitting in his bedroom on the third moon of Beta Centauri.
“It did,” thought his grandfather, lightyears away on Repsilon Nine. “But it was even worse before we built the internet.”
Three-Dimensional Sidescroller
“I don’t get it,” said Kyle. “They walk across tight-ropes and swing around on bars and ride motorcycles and stuff, but where’s the rest?”
“What do you mean, ‘the rest’?”
“You know, the boss fights. The item gathering. The plot. This is the boringest platformer ever.”
“…We’re at a circus.”
THICKE AND EDGELOW 8: How Does My Future Look?
“Evan,” said Timothy Thicke, “do you think these crazy spy games will ever end? Will we ever be free to walk openly in the streets? Will I ever be able to start a family?”
Evan Edgelow thought for a minute. “Yes to the first two questions. No to the third.”
I Missed You
With a bang, the door swung abruptly open.
She stood in the open doorway and said, “I’m home.”
He leaned against the wall. “I missed you.”
“I know,” she said. “But I didn’t miss you.”
“I know,” he said, clutching his heart as his handgun fell from his blood-soaked fingers.
DAVE EVES: The Last Bite
A man walked up to me in the park today and asked, “Are you eating that?”
I was confused. I wasn’t eating anything. I turned to him and said, “No.”
He promptly took a large bite out of my upper thigh and walked away.
I wish I had said “Yes.”
This guest story comes from Dave Eves, a soon-to-graduate film student and independent filmmaker.
Distinguished By His Height
The entire town had gathered to witness the unveiling of a new method of execution.
A fine specimen of a man was watching with the others. He stood a head taller than anyone else in the crowd.
But after the Horizontal Guillotine malfunctioned, no one looked up to him anymore.